Sweet Sixteen
by LilyBartAndTheOthers
Summary: There is no parenting guide that really works out so the best thing to do is still to follow your instincts and improvise. Daily journey through Jane and Maura's couple as their daughter is about to turn 16. / Sequel to "To Fix You" although if you haven't read it and are still in the mood for pre-established Rizzles moments, you will do just fine here.
1. The Notion Of Privacy

_**Four years old**_

As her fingertips brushed Jane's cheek, Maura echoed her partner's smile and passed a leg between the brunette's suggestively. She loved these mornings when none of them had to get up and leave for work, when they could take their time in bed to enjoy each other's arms under the warmth of the blanket. In a stifled – soft – laugh, the honey blonde bent over to capture the detective's lips in a kiss. Sliding a hand on Jane's nape, she rolled over and passed on top of her partner whose firm grip on her waist elicited a smile on her lips.

In a fluid movement – the ones that belong to old habits – Maura's knees pushed Jane's legs aside until the contact between their respective bodies satisfied her enough and she began to rub herself in a slow motion against the detective. Focused on their deep – sensual kisses – the scientist slid a hand between their legs and with a sweet authority pressed her partner's core as Jane's caresses reached her buttocks.

"Why are you moaning?"

The high-pitched voice made them jump of surprise. Within a second, Maura let go of Jane and settled in bed next to her partner; staring intently at the four-year-old little girl who was standing next to them by the scientist's bed side table.

"Were you hurting mom?"

Obviously confused before the scene, Aly frowned and looked at Maura in disbelief. As Jane giggled in her back, the honey blonde dug her elbow in her partner's sides to make her stop before smiling warmly at their daughter.

"I wasn't, honey. We were... Cuddling."

Glad to have not pushed away the blanket in their morning activities, Maura approached the edge of the bed and took the little girl in her arms to settle her in bed between Jane and her but the frown on Aly's forehead only highlighted the idea that the medical examiner's answer wasn't satisfying enough.

Looking at Jane – full of incomprehension – the little brunette shook her head; shrugged.

"I don't moan when I cuddle. You're weird."

…

_**Now**_

Leaned against the window of the car, Jane looked absentmindedly at the landscape speeding past; the buildings and the streets of Boston she knew by heart. It was a typical Sunday afternoon of November, with a gray – heavy – sky bringing a dark light to the city. The chilly air of winter sliding down one's spine in an icy embrace.

As the car stopped at a red light, the brunette cast a glance at Maura. As usual, the scientist was focused on the road; hands on the steering wheel. But the thin line on her forehead caught the detective's attention immediately. Moving nervously on her seat - frowning - Jane cleared her voice and rolled her eyes.

"Okay... What have I done?"

The question took Maura completely aback. Astounded, she turned her head around and looked at her partner as if she had lost her mind. The car behind theirs honked and mumbling a swearing word against the driver, the honey blonde passed in first gear to drive away.

"Have you been suffering from a sentiment of persecution, lately? I haven't noticed any dysfunction of your reasoning though. But your question was slightly paranoid. You haven't done anything... Why are you asking me such a thing?"

Jane snorted. After all these years, she still had a hard time recognizing that Maura's way to build her sentences charmed her. A lot. Mainly because it was the strangest thing she had ever faced in anybody.

"You haven't said a word since we left Tommy and Lydia's house twenty-five minutes ago. And truth to be told, you look tensed. So if it's not me then what is it?"

The scientist sighed. For once, she wouldn't have minded her phone – or Jane's - to ring and take her to a crime scene that would avoid her such conversation but as she entered the neighborhood of Beacon Hill, not a single ring tone came to disturb the silence reigning over the car.

"Your seventeen-year-old nephew is sexually active. Your daughter will turn sixteen in a few months. Do I really need to add more?"

For long seconds, Jane didn't say a word and stared blankly at an invisible point in front of her; slightly in distress before the mysterious reason why she had asked Maura anything in the first place.

TJ had been dating Melissa for quite a while, now. And if it hadn't bothered her – nor Maura by then – to learn that the young girl had spent the night at Tommy's, the correlation with Aly seemed to spread another kind of feeling on her. A heavy weight of discomfort on her shoulders. The scientist parked the car – stepped out of it – and headed straight to the front door of their house.

"In a year. She will turn sixteen in a year. And... It's a big difference. It has nothing to do at all."

Not buying it the slightest bit, Maura rolled her eyes at the brunette and entered the house. Without a word, she discarded her bag on the floor and stepped out of her stilettos. A pale smile appeared on her lips as Jane wrapped her arms around her waist from behind and planted a kiss on her neck.

"How about I brew some tea?"

The medical examiner nodded at her sweet partner's offer and watched how Jane headed straight to the kitchen to grab two mugs and a couple of organic tea bags.

In silence, she took the stairs up to the first floor then went down the hallway until she reached the door of Aly's bedroom. The teenager was spending the weekend at Lucy's; her best friend since kindergarten. A sweet girl that Maura and Jane had welcomed into their life with pleasure.

What if the girl were not as candid as she seemed?

Sweeping such shameful thought away, Maura entered the room; looked around. There wasn't much left from the nursery she and Jane had prepared once. If Aly had kept all the walls white, the rest had been replaced over the years, little by little: makeup had substituted to dolls, pictures of nights out with friends to Naive drawings.

Just the typical - classic - evolution from childhood to adolescence.

Disarmed and nostalgic, the honey blonde sat on the edge of the bed then sighed loudly. Where had all these years gone to?

"Sneaking around?"

Mugs in hand – a smirk playing on her lips – Jane stepped in and settled next to her partner before her eyes to focus on a few CDs abandoned on the floor: Led Zeppelin and Nirvana. At least, they had not failed completely in the education of their daughter.

"You are the one who spy on her, not me."

The brunette scoffed but preferred to hide herself behind her tea as Maura's amused eyes landed on her and she accepted the mug Jane tended her.

"I don't spy. I only get informed without Aly to necessarily know about it and that's really different."

A laugh slid on the medical examiner's lips. In a gesture of tenderness – looking for comfort – she went and leaned her head against her partner's shoulder; relaxing as soon as she felt Jane's arm on her waist. For a long moment, none of them talked as if lost in their respective thoughts; lost in the softness of a quiet Sunday afternoon spent at home.

"Do you remember when she used to walk in on us, in bed?"

Uncertain of where Maura wanted to really go with such question, Jane nodded slowly as the reminiscence embraced her quietly.

As much as they kept on teaching the notion of privacy to their daughter, Aly never kept such lesson in mind and on several occasions the little girl she was by then had interrupted them rather abruptly.

"Well... You'll see that now the situation will get reversed and we will be the ones walking in on her."

A mock of sheer disgust spread on Jane's face. Swallowing hard, she turned her head around to stare at a quite amused scientist.

"Maura!"


	2. The Journey Of Becoming A Woman

_**Author's note: thank you for all the reviews; to the guest who asked, don't be worried they're still married. I was just going for synonyms!**_

_**Twelve years old**_

Slightly out of breath and anxious, Jane stormed inside The One Division Cafe only to freeze as she saw Aly sat at a table in a corner.

As she had been told by a few officers who had first spotted her daughter there, the young girl seemed lost. Sad. The smile that usually lit up her features had disappeared, replaced by a couple of puppy eyes the detective knew way too well for having the same ones when something wasn't right.

"What are you doing here, June bug?"

Remembering that her daughter didn't want to be called like that anymore, Jane rose a hand in apologies and took a seat next to the teenager. Aly had absolutely nothing to do at the BPD in the middle of the afternoon. She had activities, clubs to attend. Suddenly regretting the fact that Maura was out of town for a conference, Jane cast a glance of distress around her. Nobody seemed to pay attention to them, though. Life was just going on.

"Shouldn't you be at the swimming-pool?"

Aly twisted her hands, moved uncomfortably on her chair while staring intently at her diet Coke and the cupcake she hadn't touched yet.

"I don't want to go anymore."

The confession made Jane frown. The teenager loved swimming. She had even insisted on being part of the school team and had already won a couple of competitions. As a wave of panic spread quietly over the detective and she began to think about the worst, Aly shook her head then shrugged.

"I can't go... I can't go in the water."

Utterly lost, Jane stared at her daughter without saying a word until Aly's eyes stopped on her and it all became clear; striking her within a second. The teenager was twelve years old, after all. It was logical.

"Oh! You mean you got your..."

One more time, the brunette cast a glance around and – bending over to come closer to her daughter – she lowered her voice; opened wide eyes.

"You got your period?"

With sadness in her eyes that warmed Jane's heart, the teenager barely had time to nod before finding herself in her mother's arms for a well needed hug. A soft giggle slid on the detective's lips as she planted a kiss on top of Aly's head; relieved and somewhat proud.

...

_**Now**_

"The stomach was empty so unless he sat there at the restaurant without eating the slightest thing, it is hard – if not just impossible – to assume he attended the dinner before being killed. Oh, and I am going to buy condoms."

Maura's last comment took Jane completely aback while Susie Chang – who had just passed the doors of the autopsy room – immediately turned back on her heels to leave. Years of experience had taught her to choose appropriate moments to deliver lab results when the detective was around.

For long seconds, a heavy silence weighed on both women; the brunette still slightly under the shock of the news while the scientist had gone on as if nothing special had happened.

"You know, Maur'... If you plan on having an affair, you aren't supposed to let me know first."

Absentmindedly, the medical examiner took her latex gloves off and pouted. Dancing on her feet, she seemed to lose herself in wonders and what ifs before turning around and locking her eyes with her partner.

"You really think people would still find me attractive enough to consider sleeping with me?"

The question sounded sincere – slightly awkward, perhaps – but it nonetheless elicited a soft smile on Jane's lips. Blushing, the detective shrugged and looked up at the ceiling as timidity spread over her.

"Well, I still do..."

In spite of the years passing by, Jane had to recognize that Maura still owned a singular elegance that few women owned naturally. The same presence and charisma as Constance; a timeless aura that gave strength to the honey blonde. And it was now obvious that the scientist would always be like that.

Perfect, in her own way. Or at least to Jane's eyes.

The medical examiner didn't miss the compliment in disguise and with the excitement of a twelve-year-old teenager, she approached the brunette to plant a kiss on her cheeks; her hand sliding on her partner's hips for a couple of seconds.

"We don't have condoms at home. That's why I want to buy some."

Casting a last glance at the white sheet that covered the corpse she had just autopsied, Maura grabbed a file and headed towards the exit.

She still had to re-read her notes before typing the report and handling it to her assistant; the part she liked the least about her job. She had never been fond of administrative tasks all in all.

Jane followed – on her heels – obviously not satisfied of the given answer.

"And small wonder why we don't. What do you want to do with condoms, exactly?"

The cozy atmosphere of Maura's office welcomed them, contrasting sharply with the coldness of the autopsy room. Discarding the file on her desk, the blonde turned around and shrugged at Jane as if her decisions were logical enough and didn't need any explanation whatsoever.

"It is for Aly."

The detective blinked – stunned – then rolled her eyes as she let a sigh of frustration come out.

Since their last Sunday lunch at Tommy's, her partner had been obsessed with their daughter's potential sexual life and while almost a week had passed by, the idea seemed to have settled down in Maura's head a bit too much to Jane's tastes.

"Oh boy... We still have plenty of time before facing this kind of situation, Maur'."

A veil of uncertainty wrapped up the scientist's features. Annoyed, she grabbed a tea kettle and went to pour some water in it. She was thirsty and the heat of the beverage would be a nice companion for the rest of the afternoon.

"Think about the things you did at her age. I am sorry to burst your bubble, Jane, but she isn't a little girl anymore. We have no choice but to accept it... And I don't know for you but personally, I think I am a bit too young to be a grandmother. I don't even mention STDs."

The brunette scoffed, shook her head.

"I certainly didn't sleep with anyone when I was fifteen!"

With the most innocent look of surprise, Maura looked up from the tea kettle and stared at her partner in disbelief. Her reaction didn't pass unnoticed to the detective who – suddenly curious – rose a dubious eyebrow at her wife.

"How old were you when you lost your virginity?"

Oddly enough, they had never alluded to such matter before. Amused to see that after all these years, they still had some things to learn from each other, Maura cleared her voice and shrugged; trying to ignore the nervousness that had embraced her.

With a precise gesture, she dosed leaves in her tea ball and calmly settled the whole in a mug.

"I was fourteen... Her name was Isabelle."

Before Jane's silence, she dared a look at the brunette and bit her lower lip to restrain an apologetic smile. She had no idea what had become of this girl; where she lived, whether she had got married.

"Okay, we didn't technically need condoms but still... I ended up naked in a bed with someone who made me get off... And don't judge me on the age I was by then. What can I say? Boarding schools help such closeness between students, I guess."

Sighing loudly, the honey blonde approached the detective; arms crossed on her chest while something deepened her features. Remorse melting into melancholy.

"I wasn't here when Aly got her period for the first time... And it's something big, something you remember for the rest of your life. I don't want to miss any other stage in her journey of... Becoming a woman. I want to be here to accompany her the best I can when the moment comes. I..."

The rest of her sentence faded away as she felt Jane's arms around her frame; her warm lips landing on her temple in a delicate kiss.

"You're the best mother she could ever dream of, Maur'. The best in this whole wide world."


	3. Just Another Family

_**Three years old**_

The sound of the pen landing on the desk resounded loudly as the teacher let go of it and looked at both women with a slight incomprehension. Embarrassed, Jane moved on her seat and cast a brief glance at Maura by her side. The medical examiner seemed as nervous as her; a frozen, polite smile playing on her lips.

"She doesn't differentiate you at all?"

Relieved to see that the young woman had chosen English over French to pursue the conversation, the detective opened her mouth to reply but realized that she had nothing to say; except perhaps how their daughter had still improved from the days she kept on calling them "daddy" for a reason nobody had ever understood.

"She does. Aly knows we are two distinct entities. We hardly look like each other, after all... It is just that she calls us "mom". The two of us. She knows our respective first names as well and the fact it is Jane who gave birth to her but she has always rejected the idea of calling us differently... But if asked for precision, she will probably say "mom J" and "mom M", though. I guess that in her head, we are just her moms. Equally..."

The teacher welcomed Maura's explanation with a bright smile, a frank nod.

For months everyone had tried to teach the toddler to use two distinct names – if only for practical reasons – but it hadn't worked out and they had given up after a while. Parenting magazines didn't seem to develop such an issue either and before the normal development of their child, they had ended up accepting the idea.

"Alright, then. It's all fine to me. Aly seems to be a very joyful little girl and I'm sure everything will go just fine, anyway... Have you visited the building already? If you have the mere question, please feel free to ask me."

With a warm shake of the hand to the teacher - reassured - Maura and Jane left the school; stepping back in the streets of Beacon Hill that was rather quiet at this time of the day. As they reached the coffee store where they used to stop by to have juices and cakes, Angela waved at them; Aly on her lap.

The three-year-old girl immediately jumped on her feet before running towards them; a large smile on her lips.

"Mom!"

Seeing that their daughter was heading towards her, Maura picked her up - planted a kiss on top of her curly dark-haired head – and smiled at Jane who was already busy tickling the little girl.

They were just another random family in the end; no mattered their names.

...

_**Now**_

For the hundredth time within a minute, Maura checked the time on her cell phone and sighed; looking at Aly with perplexity.

"Maybe she is stuck in traffic. I don't know..."

Jane was running late to their Thursday Chinese dinner out and had stopped replying to her texts for a while, now. Bored, the teenager grabbed her sticks and began to hit them on her glass to produce some music. With a discreet gesture of the hand, Maura asked her to stop immediately.

"Behave, Aly... You aren't four years old anymore."

A cell phone vibrated on the table but as the medical examiner realized it wasn't hers, a sigh of deep – barely contained – frustration passed her lips and she rolled her eyes while her daughter took the call on her own device.

"Hey, Lu'..."

The door of the restaurant opened and the detective finally stepped in. Breathless and gesturing towards Maura, she apologized as she took place by her wife's side.

"It took me forever to park. The whole Boston is out, tonight."

For years now the three of them booked a table at a local Chinese restaurant on Thursday night; some sort of a family ritual nobody really could tell where it came from in the first place yet it was part of their routine, the sweet references that defined them as a family.

"I'll call you back later, okay? It's Chinese time with the dysfunctional family."

The comment didn't pass unnoticed to Jane and Maura who stopped their own conversation and – bottle of Chinese beer in hand – stared in disbelief at their daughter as she put an end to the call and put her phone back on the small table.

"We aren't a dysfunctional family!"

Aly chuckled at Jane's protest – her green eyes going from the detective to the medical examiner – then shrugged it all away with a disconcerting indifference.

"Of course, we are."

A delicate silence spread over their table. Uncertain, Maura looked down at her plate and swallowed hard. Jane and her had always tried their best to bring a semblance of utter normality to their daughter's life. Thus, the teenager's comment really took them aback.

"Are you saying that because we are two women?"

Their soup arrived and placing her napkin on her lap, Aly laughed frankly before shaking her head.

"Oh, no! That's probably the most classic thing about you all in all... Come on, don't tell me we're just like the family next door. You, mom, cut dead people open. While you, mom, earn your life enjoying gruesome murders. And we have a tortoise. A tortoise... On which you put me by accident when I was little, J. And you freaked out when you didn't see me around anymore just because Bass had simply moved away... I'm sure you were also about to raise your glass to my first ob/gyn consultation to celebrate the fact I should be on the pill soon, M. That's dysfunctional, let's face it! But it's alright... I like it."

Unsure of the way they were supposed to react before such rather true statement, both women looked at each other - shamefully enough - and remained silent.

Later that evening, Jane stepped in bed and settled against Maura; her head in the crook of the blonde's neck. Sliding a leg between the medical examiner's ones - a hand on her stomach - the detective sighed and frowned.

"Do you think we are dysfunctional?"

Maura pondered the question – focusing on the fact she was reading an essay about autopsy at almost midnight – while her partner had just spent almost half an hour trying to feed a tortoise with expensive and exotic leaves. Perhaps they weren't as classic as most families around.

"Well..."

Surprised by Maura's obvious uncertainty, Jane leaned up on her elbow and frowned at her wife who desperately tried to avoid her gaze; behind her reading glasses.

A few months earlier, the honey blonde had given in and invested in a pair of spectacles which somehow the detective found sexy.

Without a word, Jane grabbed her wife's book – discarded it on the bedside table – and began to trace a path of suggestive kisses up the scientist's neck. In a stifled giggle, Maura went to take her glasses off but the brunette stopped her before locking her dark eyes with hers. She smiled, mischievously.

"Keep them on..."

The remark elicited a smirk on the medical examiner's lips. As her hand began to travel down Jane's leg, she tilted her head on a side and squinted her eyes at her partner.

"I didn't know you were a fetishist."

The brunette's fingertips brushed Maura's shoulder blade, the skin-to-skin contact sending shivers down their respective bodies.

Jane pouted – seemed to think about what her wife had just said – then shrugged as she let the strap of Maura's neglige slide down her arm.

"We have a reputation to defend so let's have dysfunctional sex, tonight."

Maura's laugh died in a kiss as she squeezed her partner's waist with her legs – rolled on a side – and passed on top of Jane before capturing her lips eagerly.


	4. Birthday Present Plan B

_**Four years old**_

Hidden behind a slice of chocolate cake bigger than her head, Aly ate in silence; grinning from time to time at Jane sat on the other side of the table. For a while now the little girl had developed a strong taste – if not just a pure addiction – to chocolate which somehow reassured the detective after the odd liking of her daughter for broccoli. A sweet tooth was definitely more into the Rizzoli's genes.

"Within three weeks, you'll turn five years old. It's a big birthday, June Bug... Do you know what kind of presents you'd like to have?"

The truth was that Jane and Maura hadn't managed to agree on one single thing yet and before the days flying by to an impressive speed, the last solution was to directly ask Aly about it.

Conscious of the importance of the question, the little girl put her spoon down on the table – crossed her arms – and nodded frankly at her mother with this determination that might start causing trouble in a few years from then.

"I want a baby brother."

Jane's smile froze, too fast; just like the latent pain that began to squeeze her heart. The failure of the adoption process still weighed a lot on her and Maura, no mattered they didn't talk about it anymore and pretended to have turned the page when they hadn't at all. The first agencies had judged her job way too dangerous and their schedules not adapted to a family scheme. In a word, their file was quite delicate to say the least.

They could have tried – found other ways to get past this – but life had simply taken them back in its whirl and after a while, it had been obvious that they had drawn a line under it. Perhaps too easily.

"This isn't possible, honey. We have already told you why. You remember it, don't you?"

Aly nodded and far from being upset by the negative reply, the little girl bit her lower lip then looked up at the ceiling as if highly focused on finding a second idea.

"Then I want a pony. I want a pony to go to school."

What was it that all the children wanted a pony, these days? She had never asked for one herself yet TJ had wished exactly the same when he had turned five years old. Growing impatient, Jane sighed.

"You can't go to school riding a pony in Boston, Aly. It isn't legal."

Mouth full of chocolate, the little brunette shrugged – as if such comment wasn't an issue in itself – and without even looking at Jane she rolled her eyes; obviously annoyed.

"Then let's move out already."

...

_**Now**_

"There's a two-hour gap between the moment she left the restaurant and made it back to the art gallery. What did she do during all that time?"

Maura cast a glance at the papers scattered on the coffee table – the pictures of the victim – but Jane's presence next to her ended up weighing too much and turning around, she folded a leg on her partner's lap before passing a hand on her neck to plant soft kisses there. As much as she knew that the case was going nowhere and it required their full attention, she wasn't much in the mood to work right now after a full day spent at the BPD.

"Perhaps she went to join her female lover in one of the five-star hotels of the city for a recreational nap..."

Slowly, the scientist's fingertips went down Jane's chest and started to unbutton the blouse. The bold action made the brunette giggle; her hoarse voice resounding loud in the living-room.

"Do you ever think about something else, Maura?"

The question didn't find much resonance in the honey blonde who nonetheless stopped and leaned up on her elbow to lock her eyes with her wife's. A few seconds passed by – carried away by the silence of the evening – before she pouted and shrugged to nobody in particular.

"Not really, no..."

This time, Jane burst out laughing and complied as the medical examiner slid a hand on her nape then drew her closer for a suggestive kiss.

The moment they had crossed the lines and left behind the fragile concept of friendship, the brunette had known that things would always be different with Maura. They wouldn't grow tired of each other, no mattered what. And where most of relations began to slow down and lose their spark, in spite of their eighteen years of shared life the mere kiss was still as exciting as the first one.

"Sorry if I interrupt you but I have a special announcement to make regarding my sixteenth birthday."

Immediately putting an end to their moment of intimacy on the couch, both women turned around and squinted their eyes to Aly who was standing all smile by the kitchen counter.

As the teenager cast an uncomfortable glance at the pictures of the crime scene set on the coffee table, Maura hid them under a stack of papers and nodded at her daughter in a gesture of vague apologies. It had always been a taboo somehow; curiously enough.

"Since I'm going to turn sixteen and it's quite of a big deal, I think a trip to India would be the perfect present for me."

A confusing silence welcomed the statement. Unable to check Maura's reaction since she was sat in her back, Jane kept on staring at the teenager. Impassible, she studied Aly's features; the high cheek bones and the way her curly hair embraced her face. These were probably the only two physical aspects they shared in the end. They didn't look like each other much and when it came to the young girl's temper, it was definitely a mix of her and Maura.

"Congratulations, Aly. You now have ten months to think about a Present Plan B for your birthday. You should at last have got us drunk before in order to have a chance to present your whole argument."

Shocked and offended, the teenager opened her mouth to reply but Maura – who had remained silent until then – turned out to be faster.

"I don't know, Jane... A trip to India could be very enlightening and open our mind about the world that surrounds us. It could be a life lesson for everyone."

Knowing better, the detective didn't say a word and watched with a barely hidden delight how Aly went to crash Maura's expectations and dreams of international wisdom.

"As a matter of fact, I was thinking about going there alone. Well, not really alone but with Lucy. You know, some sort of a girls trip."

Jane repressed a chuckle and turned around to finally look at her partner; a wide grin embracing her lips. As planned, the honey blonde hadn't received the news that well.

"Then I would definitely suggest you to think about this Plan B thing."

This time, Aly scoffed and in a whirl of anger headed straight towards the patio door. She had always hated it when people turned her down; for the slightest thing. Her stubbornness could be tough to deal with.

"Where are you going like that?"

Not even looking at Jane, the teenager opened the door and shrugged.

"Go see grandma. At least she doesn't go at it all the time on the couch like a horny monkey!"

The teenager stormed out under her mothers' laughter. Leaning her head backwards, the brunette sighed and passed a hand through her hair.

"I don't know for you but sometimes, I have the feeling I am in the middle of a bad remake of "The Kids Are Alright"..."

Opening her eyes back to look at Maura, Jane nodded at the remark – turned on her side to properly face her wife – and rose an amused eyebrow.

"Wanting kids wasn't the brightest idea we came up with."


	5. The Things We Go Through

_**Author's note: thank you very much for the reviews; as usual, they are very much appreciated.**_

_**...**_

_**Eight years old**_

She had got used to the sound of the machines, that constant beep reassuring her somehow; reminding her that – as long as it didn't cease – life was still floating around. Curled on the armchair by the bed, Maura barely looked up as the door opened and Aly stepped in; rather impressed by the scene. Angela didn't follow her granddaughter and preferred to stay in the hallway.

As the little girl approached, the scientist settled her in her lap then passed her arms around her frame to hold her tight. Too tight, perhaps. Yet it wasn't her fault. She desperately needed to feel Aly's warmth against her cold body, to smell her scent. To make sure that her daughter wasn't just a dream.

"Is she sleeping?"

Aly's voice resounded low in the room. Without breaking eye-contact with Jane, she patiently waited for an answer; her face not betraying the slightest feeling. A sigh of anger mixed with pain slid on the medical examiner's lips. This shouldn't have happened. And their daughter should have never had to witness this. She was too young.

"Yes. The doctors gave her medicine to help her fall asleep, though. She needed them because she was in pain."

The little brunette nodded but didn't remain quiet for a long time. Frowning, she squinted her eyes at Jane yet not daring to approach; even less touch her.

"Where is the hole? Isn't there supposed to be a hole when you get shot?"

Something froze inside Maura as the words she had herself avoided to say twirled in the air. There was no child who should have known these details. Aly was barely eight years old; too young to understand it all yet too old to ever forget it. The memory would get engraved in her mind and she would have to deal with it for the rest of her life when she hadn't asked for anything in the first place.

"The surgeons filled it. You can't leave it open, honey. But it hurts to do so, that's why we will have to be patient and nice with Jane when she wakes up. Okay? … You can touch her, if you want."

Aly shook her head vehemently and stepped backwards against Maura. Perhaps taking her to see Jane wasn't such a good idea but the honey blonde had insisted to tell her truth; to not hide the mere thing.

Distressed, she looked up at Angela who – standing by the door – gave her a reassuring smile that told her in silence she was doing alright. Trying to regain composure, Maura planted a kiss on top of Aly's head and patted her back.

"You won't hurt her if you hold her hand. As a matter of fact, she will like it. Just because she is sleeping doesn't mean that she wouldn't like to know that you are here."

The little girl looked at Jane with uncertainty before tending a shaking hand towards the detective's. With a lot of care, her tiny fingers slid on her mother's then got intertwined with them. For a while, neither her nor Maura dared to speak; as if too afraid of breaking the oddly comforting silence that wrapped them up. But Aly finally gave in.

"I miss you, mom."

The remark took Maura aback and swallowing hard, she tried to push away the tears that were asking for nothing but to come out.

...

"I hope we won't get trapped, here. Don't take it bad – I love the mountains – but I hadn't planned on taking a whole week off either."

Jane smiled at Maura's remark and sat down by the fire that the medical examiner had just lit on in the large fireplace. Before the last stressful days at work, they had decided to leave the city for a weekend in the mountains. Over the years, such a getaway had become a habit though it was the first time that Aly hadn't come along. The teenager had wanted to stay in Boston. Angela being around, nobody had really seen it as an issue either.

If they had had enough time to go hiking, heavy snow flakes had embraced the landscape in the late afternoon; their whiteness glimmering now in the dark. Making a face, Jane rubbed her hands.

"Do they hurt?"

If she usually discarded the question when people mentioned her scars, it was different with Maura. She couldn't lie to her; couldn't pretend either. It went beyond her strength and her desires. Nodding, she looked how the scientist stood up and picked up hand lotion on the kitchen counter.

Without saying a word, Maura sat in Jane's back – passed her legs around her wife's – and leaned her chin against the brunette's shoulder as the words slid in a whisper through her lips.

"Let me help you..."

They hurt when the temperatures lowered drastically. For a reason she couldn't explain. The skin turned itchy and all of a sudden these scars – all the things they meant – imposed themselves back to her with harshness. She hated the vulnerability that emanated from them, the way she couldn't help grimacing – under the first touch – as Maura passed a soft hand on the skin.

"I'll never forget all this, right?"

They never talked about Hoyt; about all the situations lived as a trauma that Jane had gone through. A few words here and there – perhaps – but as if it were just a taboo, they didn't take time to properly go and say everything out loud. Maura had tried but the detective didn't want to. In spite of the scars, the recurring nightmares. She didn't want to look backwards.

"I don't think so. I am sorry."

Maura's caresses finally got the relaxing effect that Jane was wishing for and slowly, she settled her back against her partner; behind. Then closed her eyes.

"I'm tired of composing with it."

Perhaps it was the snow – the distance from Boston – and the quietness that reigned over the cabin. Jane wasn't sure yet the words slid on her lips with a disturbing easiness; rocked by Maura's fingers embracing her hands.

"But don't try to coerce me to see a shrink!"

Maura laughed lightly – her voice brushing Jane's ear – then frowned as she discarded the lotion and held her partner's hands tight. She looked up at the flames in the fireplace; in front of her. How they seemed to dance a bewitching ballet.

"Then what do you want, exactly?"

The ringing of their phones put an abrupt end to the conversation to Jane's shameful relief. She would have not been able to give a proper answer to Maura. The years might have been passing by, it was all still rather blurry; dark memories getting accumulated in a corner of her mind she did her best to not see.

The honey blonde turned around to grab both items abandoned on the couch and smiled as the picture enclosed with the message appeared on the screen of her phone. Aly and Angela were waving at them, from the kitchen counter.

_Goodnight, girls! And no party, you're too old for that!_

"Look up, Maur'."

Jane lifted her arm and took a picture of them; the medical examiner's head leaned against hers while she was still sat in her back. Within a minute, the message was sent and silence came back over the cabin; echoing the sound of the wind outside.

"You know... I might complain all the time but the truth is that I love you, Maura. And I owe you the best years of my life."

A grin lit up the medical examiner's features. Quietly, she planted a kiss in the crook of her wife's neck before passing her arms around her waist. They had known tough days – made of uncertainty and pain – but the warmth brought by the rest balanced their existences with uniqueness.


	6. Among The Dead

_**Author's note: thank you very much for the reviews!**_

_**Nine years old**_

"You are a medical examiner, Maura. As much as I really admire your strength and motivation to do such a job everyday, I am not sure it is appropriate for nine-year-old kids."

Jane was right and she knew it yet – deep inside – the honey blonde wanted nothing more but to take part in this Career Day at Aly's school. It wasn't important but paramount for her. She had to be there.

Unable to properly explain her motivations, Maura cast a glance at the BPD open space then sighed loudly. Of course, the brunette could easily replace her – a detective always impressed children – but there was nothing shameful about her own job; about her passion for science. On the contrary, Maura was sure that she could also catch Aly's classmates' attention and curiosity.

"I will remain extremely formal. Our daughter knows what I do for a living and she isn't traumatized. I won't show them pictures or videos of an autopsy... But I can talk to them about the human body and... Perhaps let them understand the role I play in an investigation."

Jane sat on the edge of her desk and looked at Maura before casting a furtive glance at Korsak who was standing behind the medical examiner, a mug of coffee in hand. As he nodded vehemently, the brunette rolled her eyes – shrugged – and offered a pale smile to her wife. She couldn't deny it to Maura. It was not fair. After all, she was as much Aly's mother as Jane was and no mattered the singularity of her job, she was in her right to introduce it at school just like anyone.

"Okay, you go this year. But please, keep to a minimum the incomprehensible explanations over... Well, over pretty much everything. They are kids."

Ecstatic, the medical examiner jumped into her wife's arms – planted a loud kiss on her lips – and shot a bright smile at Korsak before trotting away. For a few seconds, Jane didn't say a word and kept on staring at the hallway where Maura had disappeared. Blank, she finally turned around and shook her head at her colleague.

"I swear that if it turns bad, you will be held for responsible. She is going to show up with her scalpels. Oh god..."

Korsak burst out laughing but before he had a chance to reply, Frost stepped into the large room and frowned at him; obviously confused.

"What have I missed that's so funny?"

Not in the mood to reply, Jane sat back at her desk and stared – angry – at the screen of her computer. They didn't have a case on and she had just finished her administrative tasks. Unless a call got them out, she would be stuck at the BPD for a long and painful day. Korsak cleared his voice and answered for her.

"The Chief Medical Examiner of Massachusetts is going to take part in Career Day at her daughter's school, this year. Yes... She will talk about autopsies and scalpels to nine-year-old kids."

…

If usually she had no problem to look at a dead person's face, the situation was different this time and as she discarded the heart to weight it, Maura made sure that her eyes wouldn't meet the fifteen-year-old girl's.

It was a matter of context, of personal matters as well. And this autopsy made her uncomfortable.

"Dr. Isles? Your daughter is waiting for you in your office."

Surprised yet nonetheless relieved to have an excuse for a break, Maura nodded at her assistant – took her gloves off – and left the autopsy room without a gaze towards the corpse lying on the table.

As told, Aly was sat on the couch; leafing through a magazine.

"What are you doing here?"

All smile, the honey blonde went to plant a kiss on her daughter's cheek and settled by her side.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know you were in the middle of... You know."

Maura shrugged the remark away and looked down at the black scrubs she was wearing.

"The autopsy and it is okay, sweetie. Although I never quite understood why – all of a sudden – you had a hard time dealing with my job. It didn't bother you the slightest bit when you were a child."

One day, Aly had simply refused to go downstairs, even to Maura's office. Without any explanation, she had simply developed a strong aversion to it; if not just a frank fear. Moving nervously on her seat, the teenager looked down at her hands and shrugged. She didn't like talking about it.

"I don't know... These people are dead. You have to recognize that it isn't the average job around."

The scientist laughed, nodded. Aly was right on this point even if it still didn't explain why she had all of a sudden stopped showing any interest whatsoever on the subject.

"Can I go to the movies, tonight?"

The question took the medical examiner aback. Had her daughter really stopped by for such a random fact? It was Saturday. Aly used to go out, no mattered what. Unless the family had other plans, she did not even need to ask.

"With your friends? Why, of course..."

The teenager's cheeks suddenly adopted deep red shades and trying to avoid Maura's gaze, the young girl looked up at the ceiling; pouted. Maura gasped.

"Oh my god. You have a date!""

A bright smile came to light up her features. Not only was her daughter seeing someone but she had come to talk about it to her first and not to Jane. Somehow – deep inside – she was ecstatic.

"What's his name? And don't be worried, I will make sure that Jane doesn't check his background."

Aly rolled her eyes before a smirk to embrace her lips as she looked at her mother. Even after all these years, she wasn't sure Jane and Maura had specific - different - roles in her education. The truth was that she went to the one she assumed to have the most chances to give an answer to her questions on a given matter.

And right now, she knew that the medical examiner would turn out to be the wisest one.

"Matthew... But the thing is, I don't want him to pay for me and I was wondering if you could lend me some money for this evening."

It wasn't Aly's first date and would probably not be the last one but something made Maura happy and eagerly, she nodded at her daughter.

"Of course! And treat yourself with new clothes, if you want to. I am sorry, I can't go shopping with you today, though. But you are big enough to do it by yourself. My wallet is in my bag, give it to me."

The teenager obeyed yet as she rummaged around her mother's bag, something caught her attention and made her freeze immediately. Astounded, she took a squared box out of Maura's Hermès Birkin and – eyes wide opened – stared at the honey blonde in disbelief.

"What are you doing with condoms?"

Not bothered by the situation, Maura grabbed the pack and cleared her voice. This wasn't really how she had planned on bringing up the subject but obviously, she could hardly go backwards now.

"These are actually for you. I was planning on buying them earlier but I kept on forgetting and... Anyway, even when you are on the pill, don't think they are optional. I'm not here to give you a whole lecture about STDs because we have already gone through this many times but... Please. I trust you on this. As a matter of fact, we do; Jane and I."

Perplexed, Aly stared at the box that Maura put in her hands and let an uncomfortable silence spread over the office before finally managing to say a few words.

"You bought me condoms?"

Her green eyes fixed Maura in disbelief. Her friends had always assumed that her mothers were cool when she thought that – at times – they were simply and plainly weird.

A bit stunned, she put the box in her bag – accepted the bills Maura tended her – and stood up, not really knowing what to say. This wasn't what she had expected from her visit to the BPD although when she thought about it, the scene wasn't that surprising. Especially coming from Maura.

"Err... Thank you. I guess... I... I should go, now."

Slowly, Aly headed towards the door but stopped before turning around to look at Maura. She couldn't leave like that.

"I know I'm fifteen and all that jazz but... I wasn't planning on doing... It. I... I don't know."

The scientist shrugged as a warm smile embraced her lips.

"That is not a problem. At least you will have some when the moment comes. Yet it doesn't mean you have to rush in anything either, of course."


	7. Growing Up

_**Author's note: thank you again for the reviews, I really appreciate them. **_

_**Nine days**_

With a lot of care, she grabbed the tiny fist and passed it through the sleeve before repeating the gesture with the left side. For some reason, the heat of the body took her aback; the blood running through the veins, the heart pumping. Aly was alive; she wasn't just a dream.

Her fingers caressed the newborn's stomach, soon followed by her lips as she planted a kiss on the soft skin, there; the smell of hygienic products going to her head.

"Let's get you ready, young lady. You need to be presentable, today. We have guests coming."

Delicately, she buttoned up the kimono top – brushed Aly's head of another kiss – and laughed at the baby's reaction, the way her daughter opened her tiny hands as if the touch had been relaxing enough.

Since they had left the hospital, the newborn had spent her time in pajamas and it was time to finally try on something else on her. Under Jane's guidance who had suddenly developed a strong desire for fashion – mainly driven by the desire to show to the world that she had the most beautiful daughter in the world – they had chosen a pale green dress with a purple cardigan.

"Okay... Now let's see how you look in it."

Maura grabbed the tiny dress – unbuttoned the sleeves – and bent over to put it on Aly only to realize that it would be more complicated than what she had assumed in the first place. If she had had no issue with the cotton pantyhose and the kimono top, the additional piece of clothing appeared to be a lot less easy to handle.

"Oh."

The only experience she had with newborns so far stood on a medical level and as much as she surely was amazed of her daily discoveries about maternity, Maura also had to recognize that such a tiny baby was complicated to handle. The mere gesture was a torture; afraid as she was to hurt her daughter one way or another. Frustrated, a loud sigh passed her lips as her eyes fixed Aly.

"Do you need some help?"

Arms crossed on her chest – a soft smile on her lips – Jane entered the nursery and approached Maura. Both had found their references rather quickly in this new stage of their life in spite of the doubts they had had during the last months of the detective's pregnancy. Especially the honey blonde. As soon as Aly had been delivered, she had become a mother; exactly like her partner. It was an evidence.

"Weren't you supposed to lie down for a while? You need to have a rest, Jane."

The detective was – indeed – tired but all she wanted to do was spend her time with Aly and Maura. Staying in bed alone or dozing off on the couch left a bitter taste on her. Somehow, it made her feel abandoned. Passing a reassuring hand on the medical examiner's waist, she planted a kiss on her cheek and shrugged away the remark before focusing on the baby.

"I'm fine, don't be worried. Now let's get this princess ready... She's lucky enough to have two mums looking after her so cross your fingers and let's see if we're smart enough to win against this hell of a dress. Right, Aly? Sweetie..."

Jane's hoarse voice died in a soft laugh as she grabbed her daughter's hand and kissed the tiny fingers over and over.

...

_**Now**_

"What are you doing?"

Sat on the floor of her bedroom – picture in hand – Jane looked up and shrugged at Aly standing by the door; hands in the pockets of her jeans.

"Just going through old shots..."

The teenager frowned and – her curiosity peaked – she approached and went to sit down to have a look at the photographs. As her green eyes focused on the picture, a smile lit up her features and made her giggle.

"You were huge. It's weird to see you pregnant."

The remark made Jane laugh and smirking, she gently snapped her daughter's shoulder before sitting up straight; her back against the bed. Aly shook her head – discarded the picture – and took another one.

"I mean it suited you pretty well. It's just strange. The real shock comes from the fact you two looked utterly young, by then. Time has obviously passed by."

Of course, the teenager was joking yet deep inside Jane turned out to be relieved Maura wasn't around. The scientist could have taken the remark rather literally; and thus, rather badly. As she picked another photograph from the box, something warmed up in her heart. The shot had probably been taken by a nurse or a midwife during the first seconds of life of Aly. Not cleaned yet, the newborn had been put on her chest and – Maura's head in the crook of her neck – they were both smiling through their tears.

"You printed many pictures... Show me!"

The young girl grabbed the shot Jane was holding and smiled at it; not really knowing what to say.

"I guess I've never been as scared as the day I gave birth to you."

The comment took Aly aback. Jane rarely confessed herself, especially on such matter. But before her deep features – the seriousness of her gaze – the teenager knew that her mother was being sincere.

"I've never said it to anyone, not even Maura, but... I was so scared that something would go wrong... Not for me but for you. When I was six, our neighbor lost her baby. She went into labor – everything seemed to be going fine – but as doctors went to check the child's heartbeats, they didn't find any. And deep inside, I was so afraid that it could happen to me."

Aly frowned – looked aside – and bit her lower lip as she used to when she couldn't find the right words to express her feelings. The silence that spread over the room didn't turn out to be heavy or uncomfortable but loud and full of sense.

"What are you two doing on the floor?"

Maura's joyful question took them both out of their wonders and smiling at her wife, Jane waved a couple of pictures. Immediately, the honey blonde went to sit on her side and plunged with pleasure in the contemplation of old memories.

Maura's voice floated in the air – carried on by nostalgic shades – before twirling away, replaced by a soft giggle. As her partner came closer to her and leaned her head on her shoulder to plant a kiss there, the medical examiner bit her lower lip then looked up at the teenager sat in front of her. It was hard to believe that at some point, Aly had been so tiny; so fragile. Not that she wasn't vulnerable anymore but something had irremediably disappeared. Something unique.

"Don't grow too fast... And don't roll your eyes. I mean it."

Aly and Jane stared at each other for a few seconds before bursting out laughing; the detective passing an arm around Maura's waist while the teenager grabbed her hand in a gesture of comfort.

"I'll do my best to skip classes – repeat the year – and stay home for as long as possible. I promise it."

A cell phone rang in the background. Shaking her head at her daughter, Maura stood up and reluctantly left the room to answer. She was on call. The quiet weekend she had planned on spending at home had probably just be ruined.

"It's not funny, young lady. I expect you to graduate for an Ivy League."


	8. This Is Our Family

_**Five years old**_

For a moment, Maura remained quiet by the door left opened and looked at her daughter playing with her toy cars in her room. Everything seemed normal, nothing out of the usual. Enhanced in her world, Aly hadn't heard the honey blonde arrive and kept on enjoying her time alone. Like any little girl.

A soft knock on the door made her look up. Immediately, a bright smile played on her lips and lit up her features. Maura felt guilty. Not only was she interrupting her daughter but she also realized that there was nobody else around to play with the five-year-old.

Aly was on her own. Way too often.

Somewhat guilty, the medical examiner stepped in then settled on the floor by her daughter's side. She hadn't come to play but to talk and Jane's absence – the detective was still at work – didn't help her the slightest bit. Perhaps she should have waited for her wife to come back home but the situation had seemed too serious; too important to postpone it.

"Aly... Your teacher called me and... Why did you say to Emily that your father had passed away? You know you don't have one, don't you? You haven't forgotten about it."

The little girl let go of the car she had been holding all the time and shrugged while staring intently at the wall next to her. Her obvious discomfort left Maura disarmed. With awkwardness, she came closer to her daughter and swallowed hard.

"Has someone told you something nasty? Has someone made a remark about the fact you didn't have a dad but two moms?"

They would have lied if Jane and Maura had said that they hadn't thought about this possibility. Yet until then, nobody seemed to have ever come up with such a comment; to their highest relief.

"No..."

Before the lack of explanation, the scientist approached a hand from her daughter's face and pushed away a curly strand; her gesture vanishing in a comforting caress.

"Then why did you say that? You lied, which isn't a good thing... Does it bother you? ... You haven't forgotten your book, have you? The one about the princess who isn't married yet. Her parents decide to introduce her to all the princes of the country but she ends up choosing a princess to spend the rest of her life with. Well... The same happened to Jane and I. We are each other's princess and that's why you have two moms instead of one."

Aly nodded. It had been one of her favorite stories for a very long while and probably the best way Jane and Maura had found to bring up the subject to the little girl. If she needed a masculine presence, their daughter could count on the detective's brothers; as well as Frost and Korsak. Nothing was really one-sided, in the end.

"I know how I was born but the dad who helped you, I don't know him. So when Emily asked me about him, I said that he was in the sky like uncle Vince's cat. I'm sorry..."

For long seconds Maura remained quiet – staring at her daughter who was now visibly ashamed of her lie. As the urge to hold her daughter became too strong, Maura gave in and took Aly in her arms to hug her tight.

"It is okay, honey... Everything is alright."

…

The three teenagers turned on their right and took the street that led to Aly's house. It was a beautiful day of December; blue sky and crispy air. As they passed a man walking a dog, Eleonor cleared her voice.

"And you don't miss not having a dad?"

Aly shrugged, not really bothered by her new classmate's question. It wasn't the first time that someone showed interest on the matter and if at the beginning it had taken her aback, it was now part of her daily life.

"No... I guess I can hardly miss something I never had. I still have two parents to deal with. All in all, I am sure it's pretty much the same as everyone else around."

Lucy smiled shyly and looked at her shoes. She had known Aly since kindergarten and at no moment had Jane and Maura's daughter felt defensive regarding her family. Every time, the young girl took her time to discuss it as long as required.

"You know, I never had a dad myself. He dumped my mother when she was pregnant and even if she had a few guys in her life, it's still the two of us most of the time."

Eleonor nodded at Lucy. The girl had a point, she had to admit it. In all honesty, she didn't mind at all about Aly's family scheme. It was just curiosity over a situation she had never faced herself.

"Seeing how my mom is constantly on my back, I guess I'm happy to have just one."

The comment made Aly laugh. Nodding, she rolled her eyes at her friend then grabbed her keys out of her backpack as they reached the door of the Beacon Hill house.

"As much as Lucy keeps on thinking I have the coolest family around, I still think they are just plainly weird. You're warned."

The three teenagers entered only to face Jane and Maura in each other's arms in the kitchen while Angela was dosing flour; ranting on about the hours both women spent at the BPD. Obviously quite comfortable with their display of affection, the detective waved at her daughter and her friends.

"You must be Eleonor. Nice to meet you, I am Maura. Are you girls staying for dinner? If you like Italian food then you should do just fine. Oh Aly, honey... Remember to take your pill, this time. You have already forgotten twice, this week."

The teenager – slightly embarrassed by the medical examiner's easiness to talk about anything in public – opened her mouth to protest but Angela turned out to be faster and gasped.

"The pill? What pill? The birth control pill? She's a baby!"

Jane made a face as her wife's stare stopped on her. She hadn't told her mother yet when she had made the promise to do so as soon as Aly had accepted the idea. Hands in the air to apologize, she turned around and rolled her eyes at the matriarch.

"She's fifteen, ma'."

A sigh passed Aly's lips. The scene sounded oddly normal to her. Murmuring an "I told you so" to her friend Eleonor, she moved towards the stairs and shrugged; smirking.

"Don't be worried, grandma. They also gave me condoms so I'm like a fortress, now."

Satisfied of her witty reply, the teenager disappeared upstairs in a whirl of giggles; followed by her two friends.

For a moment, Maura didn't dare to move. Staring at the empty lobby, she counted until five – the required time for Angela to usually calm down – before facing her mother-in-law.

"She isn't sexual active yet, Angela. But we assumed – Jane and I – that it was time to take a couple of decisions so with Aly's agreement, I took her to the ob/gyn and now she is on the pill. When she does remember to take it, that is... I recognize that giving her the condoms at my office wasn't the best timing ever but I can't lie and since she had found them in my bag, I had no choice but to blurt it out."

In a gesture of solidarity, Jane approached the honey blonde and rubbed her lower back. Over the years, they had learned that everything didn't always turn as planned and at times they had no choice but to improvise; adapt themselves to the situation. And that was exactly what Maura had done when Aly had found the condoms in her bag.

"Don't you think it's going to push her to have sex? She's too young for it."

The detective grabbed a slice of bread and shook her head at her mother. Even if she didn't particularly like the fact that her daughter wasn't a little girl anymore, the figure of authority she represented didn't have to prohibit a few things she – anyway – would never have a hold on.

"She isn't ready, she said it herself. We talked a lot about... It... And I prefer our daughter to know what to expect – in full awareness – than her to find out the wrong way because of a lack of education from our part. It's our role to do that, ma'. She's smart and can be mature for her age. We trust her not only to not rush into anything but also to let us know when... She plans on doing it. At least she knows that she can talk to us. And now, please, could we talk about something else? We've been talking about it for... Weeks, now."

Without a word, Maura approached the brunette – smiled at her – and planted a delicate kiss on her lips as if to thank her for what she had just said. Angela shrugged from her corner. She knew that – somehow – they had taken the right decision; one that required guts. As a parent, it wasn't easy.

"Fine. I suppose you're right... It's your first day off in a long time so you two go... I don't know, go have a rest. I don't need you around. Enjoy some quality time together while Aly's busy with her friends. Dinner will be ready at 7.30pm."


	9. The Difficulties Of Cohabitation

_**Eight months old**_

Maura stepped into the room – headed straight to the bed – and discarded the baby monitor on one of the nightstands before settling against the large pillows.

"Is she sleeping?"

An affirmative murmur passed her lips, accompanied by a nod of her head as her partner's voice filled the bedroom from the walk-in closet. Aly had been teething for a while, now; reducing their nights to minimal hours while their workdays were still as intense. The rhythm to follow was hard, exhausting.

"Remember to pack less... Formal... Clothes. It is a four-star hotel, it has its standards."

Maura's remark got welcomed by a loud scoff soon followed by an offended Jane stepping out of the closet; pieces of clothing in hands.

For the first time since the birth of their daughter, both women had decided to leave Boston for a nice – restful – weekend up North and under such circumstances, Maura had booked a room at one of the finest hotel establishments of the area.

"What do you mean by 'formal', exactly? My clothes may not be _haute-couture_, they are still perfectly fine... And clean."

Conscious of having said something she should have kept for herself, Maura bit her lower lip then cast a glance at her wife's attire. The brunette hadn't had time to change from work. She was wearing black pants and a purple blouse, like every single day or so.

"Maur! I'm not a hobo..."

A wave of deep red rushed up the medical examiner's cheeks. In a gesture of apologies, she rose her hand and shook her head at her partner; laughed lightly.

"Of course not. Your clothing choice is just... Plain. A tad boring, maybe."

The honey blonde made a face before her obvious awkwardness but her confession didn't seem to really offend Jane. A smirk embraced the brunette's features.

"Boring, hmm?"

Without any warning, Jane brought her hands to her belt and – her hips starting to move along the rhythm of an imaginary song – she locked her eyes with Maura's; unzipped her pants.

Humming in the process.

The semblance of a striptease made the honey blonde burst out laughing and with an amused gaze, she sat up in bed; passing subconsciously her tongue on her lips while her wife kept on getting undressed.

The pants landed quietly on the floor – revealing Jane's long and toned legs – but she didn't give much time to the scientist to focus on them as her fingers went to unbutton her blouse. Slowly, sensually. The gesture warmed Maura's stomach and silent enough, she followed the process with attention.

Jane had not done that for a very long while. Once they had accepted their feelings for each other and left behind the idea of being friends with benefits, something had softened in their relation; to the point they hadn't gone on with all these things. The teasing game, improvised stripteases.

They had settled down, perhaps too easily.

Another laughter filled the room as the brunette threw her blouse to Maura who caught it and approached the edge of the bed only to be denied access to Jane's body. Hand up in the air, the detective turned around – unhooked her bra – and let a strap slide down her shoulder while casting a glance at the blonde in her back.

The piece of underwear went to join the black pants on the floor.

There was something enticing from this perspective, Jane's lower back offered to Maura as the brunette kept on moving her hips rather suggestively; her hands playing with her panties. The scientist swallowed hard, unable to move.

"So... Do you still think my clothes are boring?"

Fully naked, Jane turned around and went to straddle her partner – her arms sliding around Maura's neck – while the smirk that hadn't left her since the very beginning melted into a mischievous smile. Without a word, the blonde bent over – brushed the detective's lips – and was about to go for a urging kiss when Aly's cries in the baby monitor put an abrupt end to everything. The scientist stifled a moan against her wife's shoulder.

"Shit."

...

_**Now**_

Clutched to Jane, Maura closed her eyes and took a deep breath; squeezed her legs around her partner's waist in an attempt to get the brunette closer to her body. A long sigh of content passed her lips as she felt the detective's tongue play with her skin somewhere in the depths of her neck while the caresses – down between her legs – were slowly driving her crazy.

Combined to the blanket – the brunette's own warm flesh brushing her – and the arousal of her own body, she was hot; breathless. A moan escaped from her lips as Jane's kisses went down to her breasts and the detective sped up the pace of her ministrations. Arching her back, the blonde tried to restrain a moan but failed and dug her nails in her wife's back as she reached another stage in the paroxysm of her feelings.

All of a sudden, the loud beats of music made them jump and stop right in their tracks. Surprised, both lovers turned their heads towards the wall and stared at it in disbelief. Jane sighed angrily.

"What the hell... It's Sunday morning. She's gonna wake up the whole neighborhood."

Breathing with difficulty, Maura swallowed hard and looked back at Jane who was still on top of her; her face flushed from the excitement caused by their mischievous ministrations. The scientist groaned and grabbed back her partner's neck to capture her lips in a deep kiss.

Music or not, her priorities laid somewhere else for the moment.

It is only thirty minutes later that both women walked down the corridor and knocked on Aly's door. Within a second, the music stopped and the teenager opened; looked at them from head to toes. Impassible.

The detective was the first one to react and talk.

"What was that, Aly? You want the neighbors to call the police or what?"

Maura was about to add a comment about the danger of decibels when her daughter's scoff took her aback and she remained silent instead.

"Well, I'm sorry but I don't feel like hearing you two going at it first thing in the morning. Neither do the neighbors, actually!"

Jane's jaw dropped – her cheeks turning into a deep red – while the honey blonde widened her eyes and shook vehemently her head. Clutched to her silk bathrobe, Maura scoffed.

"Alessandra Rizzoli-Isles! We are certainly not loud when you are around. This is a damaging lie... Now go get ready for the family brunch in town or I swear that next time, even your blatant music won't cover my exaggerated pleas towards this woman!"

Index finger pointed at a mortified Jane, Maura turned on her heels and – a smile of satisfaction on her lips before Aly's slightly disgusted face – took the stairs down to go and brew some tea.

The medical examiner might lack authority at times, she still always won at this game; no mattered what.


	10. Boys vs Girls

_**Ten years old**_

"_She will do the girly stuff with Maura and all the cool things with me."_

As the reminiscence of such comment hit her back, Jane made a face and tried to drown it in her dark coffee.

If her daughter hadn't turned in a terrible copy of a Disney princess, the detective could hardly say that Aly looked like her either. She didn't like sports much apart from swimming and could spend hours on an armchair plunged in the reading of some novel. Somehow, her temper was closer to Maura's even if the medical examiner kept on saying that it wasn't true.

"I will go to the game with you, Jane. It's okay."

As she felt the honey blonde's hand on hers, Jane looked up only to come and face her wife's sorry eyes and apologetic smile.

The sun was piercing through the kitchen windows, embracing Maura of an halo. For a long moment, the detective embraced the scene – studied its slightest detail – and only once she had fed herself of it did she roll her eyes before scoffing.

"You don't like baseball either."

Frowning, Maura put down her mug of coffee on the kitchen counter and dragged her arms to her hips in a sign of disapproval. If she had never attended a game before meeting Jane, it all had changed now. She was in love and logically enough – over the years – her partner's centers of interest had become a great source of learning, satisfying her own curiosity.

"This isn't true. The three-dimensional aspect of the game is highly interesting from a geometrical point of view."

Baffled, the brunette stared at the scientist as if she had just declaimed a whole poem in Chinese but a smile ended up lighting up her features. Shaking her head, Jane bent over to plant a delicate kiss on her partner's lips.

"You're the most adorable geek of the planet, Maura Isles... Even if it doesn't change the fact that our lovely daughter turned down my invitation to go to that baseball game together."

Adolescence was slowly – but surely – making its way into their daily life and truth to be told, Jane did not like it much. Aly's temper was changing, affirming itself more and more while arguments between the young girl and her mothers had turned more frequent.

"I've changed my mind. I'm coming."

The unexpected comment made them turn around and – restraining a scream of utter terror – Jane and Maura stared at Aly; speechless. The young brunette had obviously sneaked in the master bedroom in order to use the scientist's makeup.

"Jesus Christ... This isn't a Halloween-themed game."

Discreetly, Maura hit Jane's side with her elbow and forced a smile at their daughter who was in need of a lesson about subtlety; added to the fact that she was still a bit too young to wear makeup around.

"I see that you particularly enjoy my Chanel powder. This is really nice of you, honey... But, you know what? Let's go upstairs so I show you how to... Err... Actually... Make sure that... Err..."

Casting a desperate glance at the detective, the honey blonde bit her lower lip and swallowed hard. In a gesture of distress, she grabbed their daughter by her shoulders then pushed her towards the stairs.

"Let's just go upstairs."

As Maura and Aly left the room, Jane rolled her eyes and focused back on the newspapers she had been reading until then. She sighed. Nope. Her daughter was definitely not a replica of herself.

...

"Don't you think you are a bit young for red? Jane isn't going to like it."

Rolling up her jeans mid-calf, Aly shook her head and settled further against the pillows of her bed; her toes exposed to Maura on a cushion.

"She uses it herself. Besides, we are in the middle of winter so it's not like I'm going to show my feet to the whole city either."

Maura abdicated – yet deploring the teenager's strong sense of argumentation – and shook the bottle of nail varnish before opening it.

As much as she rarely dared to say it out loud, she loved these moments spent with Aly; all these face-to-face instants during which nothing else mattered while the hours flew away in a sweet whirl of daughter/mother confessions.

Jane had her moments with their daughter and she had hers, just equally.

"It would be nice if you invited Matthew over for a lunch by Christmas... And don't roll your eyes. We haven't met him yet. You've been going out together for a few weeks, now. It is only normal for us to... See how he is."

Maura didn't want to sound pressing – even less obsessed with her daughter's romantic life – but as her mother, she felt the need to know more and make sure that everything would be alright.

And perhaps a slim desire to satisfy her curiosity as well, if she had to be honest.

"Okay, I'll see... Mom? When did you know that you liked girls?"

The question took the medical examiner completely aback and – bottle of nail varnish in hand – Maura stared at Aly with great confusion. She didn't mind talking about it but it was the first time the teenager showed interest on the matter; or at least on such a plan.

"Are you... Do you think you are..."

Until now, their daughter had only showed interest in boys; way too much to Jane's taste. But after all, Aly was young enough and nothing was really settled yet.

"Oh, no! I mean, I don't think so. I'm not into girls but two of them are dating at school and I was kind of wondering how it worked for you; how you assumed that you were attracted to them."

For a few seconds, Maura wondered if the teenager had asked Jane as well but she doubted so for the detective not being much at ease with expressing her feelings out loud; even less personal details like that.

"The day I realized that I wanted to kiss one. It was in junior high school... There was this girl whose name I have forgotten and for some reason, I found her fascinating. One day, I got to sit next to her at the library and when our gazes met, I wondered how it would be like to kiss her. It didn't happen with her but what I took for curiosity at first turned into something stronger with the passing of time. While obviously I knew that most of my classmates didn't share these feelings."

The reminiscence of such a time made the medical examiner giggle shyly. It was a sweet memory – a bit blurry after all these years – but it was part of her identity.

"How is lesbian sex?"

Not bothered the least, Maura bit her lower lip and frowned. If her daughter trusted her enough to ask her about a subject most of people still considered as a taboo, she wanted to make sure to give the most precise and honest answer to the question.

"Softer, more instinctive... Although it quite depends on your partner and on that point, we're all equal. It's probably a matter of temper too; and the mood you are in. But if I really have to compare then yes, I'd say it is... More evident and sweet... But I'm not objective since I'm in love with Jane."

The honey blonde felt a wave of heat rush up her cheeks and – blushing – she looked up at her daughter then shrugged her slight clumsiness away.

"Talking about me, here?"

Hands in her back, Jane entered the bedroom – all smile – but stopped and rolled her eyes as she cast a brief glance at the pedicure.

"Red? Who do you think you are, Aly? Some sort of a _femme fatale_?"

The teenager pouted at the remark then shook her head at the detective.

"I just wanted to have the same as yours but if you don't like the idea then fine, I'll get rid of it. It's okay if you aren't excited to the perspective of your daughter feeling like looking like you somehow..."

As a smirk played on her lips, Jane rolled her eyes and turned on her heels to leave the room. Perhaps Aly looked a bit more like her than what she thought, in the end. She could definitely not have got this sense of repartee from Maura.


	11. It Isn't That Easy At Times

_**Seven years old**_

It had been a long – exhausting – day; gloomy. One of these oppressive ones that always left a singular taste on one's mind, a sentiment floating between failure and incompetence. Sighing loudly, Jane went straight to the kitchen to grab a beer and pour a glass of wine for Maura. The house was quiet and one more time, they had missed dinner with their daughter who was probably already in bed by now.

"Ma'?"

Angela didn't answer. Immediately, a thousand scenarios developed in both women's head and – driven by a sudden anxiety – they rushed to the first floor only to stop by the little girl's door; relieved as they heard voices coming softly from the room.

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"

Angela and Aly were in full talk and eager to not interrupt them, Maura grabbed her wife's forearm to prevent her from entering the bedroom. Jane's mother had a nice connection to the little girl, probably strengthened by the long hours spent together. She hadn't retired yet but the matriarch nonetheless did her best to develop a special bond with her only granddaughter.

"I want to raise kangaroos in Chicago."

Before the quite peculiar answer, Maura made a face then stared at Jane with confusion as the brunette only replied to her by a shrug; obviously not knowing more about it than she did. Aly had always liked animals but the Windy City was brand new information that completely came out of the blue.

Angela's light laugh filled the room.

"I don't know if there are many kangaroos in Illinois but I'm sure the zoo still has some. How come you don't want to become a doctor or a police officer, like your mothers?"

Jane rose a surprised eyebrow. Her mother had never liked her job career – for it being dangerous – but as the question settled in her head, she assumed that the matriarch was only referring to the usual desire that a child of Aly's age had to look like the parental figure of the house.

"Because that means I would never be home."

The innocent tone of voice contrasted sharply with the depth of the answer and for long seconds neither Jane nor Maura dared to move, even less look at each other. Angela's comforting words died somehow in the background as realization hit them hard; painfully.

It wasn't easy to combine their respective jobs to a family life but they did their best and had hoped that their daughter didn't suffer much from their singular schedules. It might have sounded cruel enough but none of them could imagine to put an end to their career. They needed it, were driven by the cases.

Maura swallowed hard and delicately enough, let her fingers slide on Jane's hand before holding it tight in the darkness of the corridor. She looked up at her partner, planted a comforting kiss on her shoulder.

…

_**Now**_

As soon as she had stared down at the body, Jane had forgotten to the notion of time. It was just as if something had stopped in her mind.

As if the world had ceased its revolutions and nothing mattered but the blood splattered on the asphalt, the sheer terror fixed for the eternity in the victim's eyes. Fifteen years old. It wasn't an age to die.

Snow drops landed quietly in the teenager's dark hair – reddening as they absorbed the blood – before melting in the scalp, sliding on the pale face. The detective swallowed hard, shivered. Christmas carols were playing in the background; farther from the dark alley, by the streets where passers-by kept on coming and going completely unaware of the crime scene.

"It's Christmas time, for Christ's sake. Why can't it stop if only once a year?"

Avoiding to look at the dead body by his feet, Frost shook his head and took a deep breath. In spite of the years, the detective still had a hard time to deal with corpses.

"Maura has just given the green light to her morgue attendants. I guess we can leave, now."

Jane nodded and finally managed to break eye-contact with the teenager that laid down in the alley. As she turned around, she saw the honey blonde in full talk with a police officer. It was not the end of the day any person on this scene had dreamed about yet it sadly belonged to a painful routine for everyone somehow.

Two hours later, both women parked their respective cars in Beacon Hill and walked together up to the townhouse. As much as they used to put aside their private life at work, some cases weighed more than others on their mind; especially since Aly had made it into their existence. Their daughter had changed everything.

"How come it's in the dark? It's almost 9pm... Aly?"

Out of automatism, they discarded their coats and files before stepping into the living-room. Everything was neat – included the kitchen counter – which only highlighted the idea that the teenager had not had dinner there.

"Aly! We're here, honey."

Maura took a sip of her glass of wine – put it back on the coffee table – and headed to the stairs as their daughter remained desperately quiet. It only took her a minute to come back to the living-room, slightly short of breath.

"She's not here, Jane."

The brunette grabbed her cell phone but landed straight on the voicemail. Annoyed and worried, Maura began to walk around in circles; mumbling inaudible words to herself. The guesthouse was in the dark. As planned, Angela was out to the restaurant with Vince Korsak. Both had been dating for years now, but seemed to enjoy the idea of independence and a few nights out pleased them more than the idea of moving in together once and for all.

The door opened – stopping the medical examiner right in her tracks – and as Aly came in, Jane went straight to the young girl; index finger pointed at her.

"Where the hell were you? It's almost 9.30pm, dammit! You have nothing to do outside at this hour of the night on a weekday. And what about your freaking cell phone? Have you forgotten how to use it?"

Taken aback by the cold welcome, the teenager frowned and stared in disbelief at her mothers standing next to each other angrily.

"Oh, come on. Don't you trust me enough to know I wouldn't do anything wrong? I'm responsible, it's all fine. As for my cell phone, the batteries died. I was just..."

Maura's sarcastic chuckle put an abrupt halt to Aly's explanation. The honey blonde rarely got mad – her patience contrasting sharply with Jane's impulsive temper – but when anger ended up crawling under the scientist's skin, the teenager knew that she had lost the battle no mattered what.

"Of course we know you wouldn't do anything crazy but that doesn't mean anything could happen to you either! What do you think? Gosh, you have no idea what happens in the streets... But Jane and I certainly do. We see it every day. Do you really think that every single person who lands on my table makes it there because he or she has been irresponsible at some point?"

Images of the fifteen-year-old teenager found a few hours earlier in an alley cruelly came back to both women's head. It was unfair to cross the lines and link what had happened there to Aly but the feeling was stronger than any kind of reasoning. They simply couldn't help it.

"Oh my... You two are totally paranoid. So what, now? Are you going to hire a bodyguard for me? Or a babysitter, to relieve your conscious and make sure I'm in bed by 10pm? I was out – with my friends – shopping for your freaking Christmas presents! You know, that holiday supposed to gather families but that you often end up celebrating at the BPD because you're too engrossed in your cases? Perhaps you would remember it if you actually spent less time among the dead and joined people who are alive from time to time!"

Not waiting for any remark, Aly turned on her heels and rushed upstairs. The slam of her bedroom door resounded loud.


	12. The Official Date On The Calendar

_**Thirteen years old**_

"A new French restaurant has opened in the South End. Wouldn't it be perfect for your 15th anniversary at the end of the week?"

Knelt down near a few logs she was about to put in the fireplace, Maura turned her head and looked at her daughter sat on the couch next to Jane.

"We have never celebrated it, honey... Besides, it is on December 23rd; just before Christmas Eve. I am not sure that three days of consequent meals is such a good and healthy idea."

The scientist's remark made Jane chuckle. Only briefly, though. As soon as Maura's look of disapproval landed on the brunette, the detective straightened and cleared her voice.

"She might be right, Aly. It's a very sweet idea that you had but I'm not sure we should indulge in..."

A snort coming from the kitchen made the three of them turn around. Angela was sat at the counter – in full gardening activity – and as she looked up from the miniature flower pots settled in front of her, she shook her head at Maura and Jane.

"How come you never celebrate your anniversary? Your wedding day, your first date... Although you're wrong, Aly. It's their 14th anniversary that they should be celebrating, this year. Not the 15th. And now I think about it, it wasn't in December but in July."

A quiet panic spread on Jane and Maura but they barely had time to cast a furtive glance at each other that their daughter had already replied.

"No, I'm not! They slept together for the first time on December, 23rd. First kiss and all, as a matter of fact. It got settled on a double six – a dice game – and mom J lost her bet. That's how it all started. They were friends with benefits for over eight months before deciding to become a couple."

Jane couldn't help but make a face at the teenager's revelation. Perhaps they should have never told her the entire truth about their story, in the end. When Aly was still a child, they had skipped a few parts of their singular past but then time had passed by and when their daughter had been old enough to hear it, they hadn't hidden anything about it.

"What? What game? Oh my god. Was that the bet you once had vaguely told me about before rushing out of the room and leaving me no chance to ask you for more details, Jane?"

With panicked eyes, Aly stared at her grandmother before asking in silence Maura for an explanation over Angela's surprised reaction but the medical examiner looked down at her lap.

"Ma'! This isn't the right place nor the right time to talk about it, alright?"

With anger, the matriarch grabbed a flower pot and rolled her eyes as disappointment settled in. It was not the way Jane and Maura had become an item that bothered her but the fact that both women hadn't told her the truth; during all these years.

"But it's okay to say that to your daughter who seems to be knowing for quite a while already... I can't believe you dared to tell her that one of the reasons why she's here is thanks to some sort of kinky stuff. You'll owe her a therapy..."

Aly burst out laughing. She liked her grandmother's exaggerated remarks, the falsely dramatic side of life she always showed up at some point. There was something utterly funny in it; especially when it happened during a family gathering.

"I'm fine with it, don't be worried. It might not be perfect like a romantic comedy but it's quite unique... And sort of carries along this strange awkwardness that makes life beautiful, worth a try."

...

_**Now**_

Focused on their talk over the teenager murder case, it took them long seconds to notice the candles on the dining table as they stepped into the house. It was snowing hard – the roads were icy – and it had taken them longer than the usual to make it back home safely after a full day at work.

"Happy anniversary... You have twenty minutes to go up – take a shower – and change into the clothes I've chosen for you; you will find them on your bed. _Apéritif _will be served here once you're ready."

All smile and obviously happy of her surprise, Aly stood in front of them; hands in her back, an apron still tied around her waist.

The electric atmosphere of the past few days had eclipsed the upcoming date on the calendar and only now did Jane and Maura remember that it was December 23rd. Touched by the extremely unexpected attention, they obeyed their daughter's order without a word and – on time and dressed – came back to the living-room for their drinks.

"Please enjoy your _American Flyers_ – lime juice, Champagne, rum and cane sugar – accompanied by a few _hors d'oeuvre_: eggplant mousse, salmon _consumé _and mini-cheese _soufflés._ The house would like to remind you that any talk related to the BPD isn't allowed. _Bon appétit_!"

The teenager turned on her heels and was about to go back to the kitchen to make sure that the rest of the dinner was under control when Jane stopped her; glass of Champagne in hand.

"Wait. Where did you learn how to prepare this kind of not so alcohol free cocktail, exactly?"

Aly smirked – danced on her feet – then winked as a light laugh passed her lips.

"I'm afraid the _maître d'_ doesn't reveal her tricks..."

For some reason and since a very young age, Aly had always paid attention to their couple. One way or another, the little girl she was by then insisted on celebrating it; openly and loud. Then as the years had passed by, she had naturally decided to be in charge of their anniversaries or of the few nights out that she secretly organized for Jane and Maura.

As they settled at the table thirty minutes later to start their dinner, Maura cast a glance at the kitchen before smiling at Jane. Bending over, she whispered to her wife.

"I guess we should have reconsidered the notion of child slavery a long time ago."

The brunette – at first surprised by the scientist's humor – burst out laughing and captured her partner's smile in a delicate kiss. The dinner couldn't have happened at a better moment. The murder case they were dealing with was tough, and stressful; especially at this time of the year. It was a nice way to sort of escape from it, if only for a few hours.

"Hands and lips off, please. I have had dinner already and would like to keep it down."

The honey blonde rolled her eyes before her daughter's remark but nonetheless – yet reluctantly – took her distance with Jane before settling further on her seat.

She was starving anyway, so it seemed better to not disturb the person in charge of her meal; especially when this person happened to be Alessandra Rizzoli-Isles. A single remark and the situation could go from perfect to utterly bad.

"What is it?"

Her curiosity piqued, Jane frowned and looked at the squared box that the teenager had put down in her plate. Maura had a similar one, only of a different color.

"These are your respective presents. I hope you will like them..."

If Aly used to be in charge of their anniversary evening plans, it was the first time that she offered them something and – touched, taken aback by the gesture – both women focused on the boxes; opened them with shaking hands.

"Oh my god."

The silver rings were plain yet thin and delicate; matching each other. Maura grabbed hers and noticed the message engraved inside:

_Maura and Jane – December, 23rd_

"Matthew's father owns a jewelry. He offered to do it for me. Of course, dice would have been more... Symbolical... But it isn't something that you can have on you constantly."


	13. The Cycles Of Life

_**An hour**_

"Don't move! It's okay..."

But Jane didn't listen to Maura and – grimacing – pushed herself on the left side of the tiny bed so her wife could settle on the mattress as well. In a fluid movement, the honey blonde laid down cautiously on her side – against the detective – then rested a hand on her partner's shoulder while looking intently at the newborn that was sleeping in her crib.

"How are you feeling?"

Maura's voice resounded sweet – low enough – in the hospital room. The night had been long and after interminable hours of an odd adrenalin, the sun had risen over their new status of mothers. Everything would change, now. The mere detail.

Not breaking eye-contact with the baby, Jane sighed at the scientist's question. She was exhausted but couldn't fall asleep. Not now, not yet.

"She ruined my uterus."

The unexpected remark made Maura burst out laughing but worried her loud reaction might wake up Aly, she stifled it in the depth of Jane's neck before planting a serene kiss there; feeding herself of her wife's scent.

"I can assure you that your organs will do just fine and that nothing has been damaged... I can't believe you refused the epidural, though. For the past four months, you've been bragging on how you would be so drugged out anyway that you wouldn't remember the slightest ounce of pain."

The brunette shrugged. She had simply changed her mind as soon as she had got into labor and that for a reason she could hardly explain. She had suffered – for long hours – but now that she laid in bed with Maura and their daughter, she didn't regret her last-minute choices the slightest bit.

"I haven't even crushed your hand! Wait. I haven't, have I?"

Suddenly uncertain, Jane turned her head around and watched how Maura waved her hands at her as if to prove that everything was alright. Truth to be told, the detective didn't remember much the very last minutes of her labor nor if she had indeed grabbed her partner's hands at some point.

"She is perfect, Jane."

Focusing back on the baby by her side, the brunette smiled at Maura's remark; nodded in silence. She couldn't really say if Aly looked like her – her mother would probably have her word on it as soon as she would come in – but Jane didn't mind much in the end. They had a healthy daughter; all pink and sleeping peacefully in her crib. The rest didn't matter.

"Of course, she is. This is our little girl, she couldn't but be perfect. Although, wait until she begins to talk – walk – and stop thinking that boys are stupid."

Maura's offended snort took the detective aback. Surprised, Jane turned her face around and looked at her wife with perplexity. The blonde was frowning; staring intently – with authority – at Aly.

"I will certainly not accept her to start talking about boys – or girls, for that matter – before she turns eighteen. My baby won't."

Jane intended a laugh – a fragile one as it hurt her sides – and trying to calm down the spasms, she just rolled her eyes; patted Maura's hand. She had never thought that the honey blonde would be like that.

"Yeah well... We'll see, Maur'."

…

_**Now**_

"Our daughter is dating Dexter."

Maura moaned at her partner's comment - rolled her eyes – then pressed her forehead on their table at The Dirty Robber as Frost burst out laughing.

Since Matthew had come for lunch during the Christmas holidays, Jane had renamed the poor teenager and kept on calling him like that when Aly wasn't around. Deep inside, the medical examiner could not but recognize that it made her laugh but she was simply afraid that – one day – her wife would blurt it out in front of their daughter and it would set off a major drama.

"He was just being polite and showing interest in my job, Jane."

The brunette snorted – took a sip of her beer – and shook her head at her colleague sat on the other side of the table.

"Nah. The kid was way too much fascinated by the idea you had to deal with dead bodies all day long."

Trying to repress a laugh, the medical examiner hit her wife's side with her elbow to make her stop yet knowing it was vain.

Frost had asked how the lunch had gone and now Jane would go on and on about her daughter's boyfriend's singular attraction to forensics.

"He is a very polite boy, very well educated. And unfortunately quite good-looking too."

Maura's last remark took Frost aback and – frowning – he rose a perplexed eyebrow to the scientist as if asking implicitly for an explanation over such a singular fact. But Jane turned out to be faster. A loud sigh slid on her lips, accompanied by a defeated shrug.

"Cute boys always break the nice girls' heart... And it has already started. They've been on and off right from the start. Some things will never change, obviously."

Without saying a word, Maura cast a glance at the room. Friday night; the place was crowded, as usual. Mostly locals – people from the BPD – and a few new faces who had chosen the pub by accident. For long seconds, she thought about Aly and where she was, right now.

The teenager was spending the night at Lucy's to get ready for one of their friends' sweet sixteen that would take place on the next day. As the new year had arrived, they had left a couple of things behind; had turned the page over a part of their life.

And the excitement of reaching the age of sixteen years old – with all the dreams and disillusions it brought along – would dictate their upcoming months.

"We're not selling you parental dream, are we?"

Frost laughed – lightly – then shrugged with his typical timidity. He hadn't got married – hadn't had children either – and even if he rarely talked about it, Maura knew that deep inside he was somehow regretting it. It wasn't too late, though. It never was.

"I'm afraid you're simply selling me realism."

Jane pouted at the cruelly true remark. Nothing had really changed since the time she used to be herself a teenager. It was still the same quest for popularity – whilrs of misunderstandings – and secret hopes.

Now she simply – quietly – hoped that her daughter wouldn't make the same mistakes as she had made at her age. She wouldn't have the strength to see Aly go through the same path of pain.

Swallowing back her thoughts, the brunette squeezed Maura's knee under the table and smiled at Frost. It was a nice evening out, one of these that almost managed to make her forget – if only for a while – the cases they hadn't solved yet and all the things that remained to be done.

"Are you doing something, on Sunday? We were thinking about having a brunch on Beacon Hill. There's a nice restaurant that has just opened and the menu is quite tempting."

At times, Jane wondered how Barry could go on – during all these years – without someone by his side. She had reached herself this point where imagining her life without Maura was simply impossible. She needed her, she had always done. And with the passing of time, the honey blonde had become so much more than a mere yet indispensable presence by her side.

Maura was her whole life. Without her, nothing made sense anymore and she wouldn't find the strength to go on.

"That sounds like a nice plan, yeah. Thanks... Will Dexter be there too? Now you told me about him, guys, I have to say that I'm rather curious to see him in person!"

Maura rolled her eyes – produced an odd sound as she sipped on her wine – and shook her head at Jane and Frost; barely hiding thus a slight despair.

"Stop calling him like that!"


	14. The Significance Of Arguments

_**Ten years old**_

"Stop it!"

Both women turned around – taken aback by Aly's scream – and stared in disbelief at their daughter who was standing a few feet from them with her fists clenched; her face red from anger.

"Why are you two always fighting?"

Jane would have discarded the question within a second if it hadn't been for the ounce of despair in the little girl's voice, hidden somewhere behind her obvious frustration.

Somewhat worried, the detective cast a brief glance at Maura who seemed as distraught as she was and came closer to Aly. She shook her head, intended a smile. Something was glimmering in the girl's eyes, except Jane wasn't sure these tears came from frustration or a deeper feeling.

"It's okay, June Bug. Every couple bickers, at times. But it's insignificant. We're not that mad at each other..."

Unconvinced, Aly frowned – studied Jane's features before doing the same with Maura – and shook her head. She didn't look fine at all – twisting her hands nervously – as she tried to stifle back her sobs.

"If it's unimportant then why do you do it? You aren't going to get a divorce like uncle Frankie, right?"

The week before, Jane's brother had announced that his marriage to Sarah had come to an end. It hadn't been a big surprise to anyone but it was still nonetheless sad. They had been married for five years and had twins. Details about the children custody still had to be discussed.

"Of course not, honey. We love each other very much, too much to even think about such a thing. The little fights are just utterly random and don't have any consequence at all on us."

As if to accompany her explanation, Maura passed her arm around Jane's waist and smiled at her as the brunette turned around – reacting under the touch – and nodded softly. They had always bickered – had heated arguments at times – but they hadn't assumed that Aly could see more into them than what there was to see in classic couple scenes. Perhaps the announcement of Frankie's divorce had troubled her a lot more than what they had imagined.

Aly had never liked conflicts to the point she had a hard time facing them and going through. It might have caused a few problems at school with other children but as she had grown up, her insecurities had seemed to vanish little by little. Until now.

"I don't want you to have a divorce... I don't want you to argue constantly... I don't like it."

The confession broke Jane's heart. She was being responsible of her own daughter's anxieties and as if it weren't bad enough, she hadn't even realized it before.

"I'm sorry, Aly. We're going to make an effort, I promise it. How about every time we're about to bicker around, we kiss instead? Is that any better to you? It surely is to me!"

Maura laughed lightly and leaned against her wife, planting a stolen kiss on her shoulder before resting her head there. If she had to be honest, she loved their constant bickering if only because it sweetened even more the moment she would find herself in Jane's arms to make peace.

A fair game of love.

"I don't know. I don't like it much either when you kiss. Which you also do constantly. I guess you're... Just too much. Always too much. It's embarrassing when you go all touchy feely in public."

Uncertain of the way she was supposed to take it, Jane turned her face around and rolled her eyes at her wife. Their daughter had obviously inherited of Maura's clumsiness when it came to human relations.

…

_**Now**_

Laid in bed – laptop on her lap – Jane cast a glance at the opened door then focused back on Skype and the image of Maura appearing on the screen.

"They broke up again. Although this time, she's not in tears. It's all about the cold treatment. You have no idea how I'm looking forward to the end of adolescence."

The medical examiner pouted at the news and brought a hand to her heart. If she had been in Boston, she would have already hurried to her daughter's bedroom to make sure that everything was alright.

Except it would have resulted in another argument with Aly who – in such circumstances – preferred simply to be alone and annoy the rest of the house until the situation would turn positive again. They were learning it the hard way.

"Have you gone to talk to her? What did she say? My baby... Tell her to turn the page over him once and for all, dammit."

Jane giggled. The way Maura could turn so protective towards their daughter had always sounded quite funny to her. Even if it didn't necessarily match anymore the desires of a teenager. Settling against the pillows, she shook her head at her wife; smiled.

"Not really. She just told me what had happened and how they had argued because he had spent half of Emily's sweet sixteen outside with the other guys and not with her. She's quite the jealous type, Maur'. She got that from you..."

The honey blonde scoffed – shook her head vehemently – then rolled her eyes; exactly the reaction that Jane had expected.

"I am not jealous!"

The detective snorted.

Her wife was possessive and had always been; since the very beginning of their relationship. The mere person approaching Jane was considered as a threat except it didn't explode in tantrums. Unlike most of people, Maura kept it all for herself and the tension was accumulating within her until she burst into tears; unable to say the slightest thing.

Victim of the thousand terrible scenarios she had quietly elaborated in her head all along.

"Don't complain if you start having hives... Anyway, it doesn't change the fact you're way too far – I miss you like crazy – and I'm alone at home with a teenager who is currently hating half of the planet, me included. The birthday party sounded nice enough, though. The next one is in three weeks and... I guess she wants to wear one of your dresses. On Sunday, we'll be at Tommy and Lydia's for lunch."

Maura nodded absentmindedly. Her thoughts were now focused on Aly and Aly only.

Sometimes, she wished she had the capacity Jane owned to handle all of this. The brunette was touched by whatever happened to their daughter but she managed to deal with it a lot better than she did herself.

"I miss you too, hon'. Do you want me to come back home earlier? You know, for Aly. She has always had a hard time to deal with arguments and conflicts."

Jane rolled her eyes and scoffed. What was it that the two most important people in her life were such drama queens?

"Nobody died, Maur'. She'll survive even if you're in Hawaii for one of your geek conferences. Aly is simply learning life and there's not much we can do about it. The only reason I'll ask you to come back here asap is if you start talking to me about some surfer you would have met on one of these fantastic beaches."

The scientist smirked and looked at something on her left that Jane couldn't see on the screen.

"Well, now you're talking... I might have seen a couple of specimens whose ability to stand firmly on their surfboards was enhanced by their incredible mus-..."

The detective stopped her immediately. Hand up in the air. Nobody was allowed to joke over her very own jokes; not even Maura. A stifled sound caught her attention and as she looked up, Jane noticed Aly. The teenager was standing by the bed; hands in the pockets of her jeans, wearing a large Red Sox jersey.

"Here comes the most joyful girl of Beacon Hill. Come say hi to your mom before she rambles again about the gorgeous so-called landscape of Hawaii."

With an obvious lack of motivation, Aly sat next to Jane on the bed and – forcing a five-second smile – waved at Maura in silence.

"How are you doing, sweetie?"

The teenager shrugged at the question and crossed her arms against her chest.

"I hate men."

Her remark made Jane chuckle. Offended, Aly shook her head at her mother then rolled her eyes. She obviously didn't find anything funny in her very own comment but the detective didn't mind much and snorted.

"What do you know about men? You've dated fifteen-year-old baby boys until now."


	15. You Can't Win Every Time

_**Seven months**_

Trying to ignore the amount of bacterias that currently surrounded her, Maura took a deep breath and – clutched to Aly whom she was holding tightly in her arms – walked towards Jane waiting for them by the pool. Other couples were arriving little by little, with this typical timidity of the first times when not a single soul dares to go towards another one.

"I hope she's gonna do just fine."

The brunette forced a smile and kissed the top of her daughter's head before caressing her hair tenderly.

They had been talking about the baby swim club for a while already but even if they had found one in the area that accepted four-month-old children, they had preferred to wait a little – try first at the beach to check Aly's reaction – then eventually sign in for a few lessons.

"She had no problem with the ocean nor the waves. Being in the water reminds them of the in utero life so they usually love it..."

Babbling and playing with Maura's swimsuit strap, the little girl seemed calm and rather joyful in spite of the new environment she was in. Jane nodded at her wife as the honey blonde placed her hand in her lower back – in a comforting motion – and cast a glance around.

She wanted her daughter to not be afraid of the water and learn how to swim from a young age.

Maura had agreed immediately. For the moment, they seemed to be walking on the same path when it came to parenting, for absolutely everything. Even if reality had already caught them back a couple of times and they had had to give up on some of their so-called principles. Theory didn't have much to do with practice.

The instructor was a woman in her early thirties – a smiling blonde who eagerly took her time with all the babies before suggesting everyone to gradually step in the swimming-pool. Jane swallowed hard. What if her daughter threw a tantrum as soon as her little foot would make contact with the water? At times, she didn't understand Aly's reactions and felt disarmed before her cries. She hated that, the odd sentiment of vulnerability that emanated from it. It was worse when it happened in public.

For the thousandth time, Maura put back into place the strap of her suit that Aly consciously kept on taking off and slowly took the steps that led to the water.

Jane preferred to let her partner do. It seemed like the scientist dealt better with the situation than she did herself. The honey blonde was relaxed, talking to Aly about all the things there were around them. The baby listened and followed Maura's finger as she pointed out the different accessories they would use later for the exercises.

"Why does she keep on undressing me?"

The question made Jane chuckle slightly and since Maura was holding their daughter by the waist – as instructed, with her two hands – she reached the strap to put it back on her wife's shoulder again. All of a sudden, Aly froze; as if finally realizing where she had landed.

Her eyes wide opened, she stared down at her legs submerged in the water; frowned. Without thinking it twice, Jane squatted – plunged her head – then reached her daughter's feet to plant kisses there while tickling her sides softly. The reaction was immediate: Aly burst out laughing and excited, she began to hit the surface of the water with her tiny fists to make it splash around.

Years later, Jane would keep on saying that it was probably one of the most beautiful memories of their first times with their baby. Relaxed and happy, their daughter's laughter had filled her heart for the day – even long after the lesson had come to an end – just like the perfect bond she had shared with Maura and her.

Her family, the two people who didn't count the most in her life but simply gave sense to it.

…

_**Now**_

Jane sat on the bench – took her jacket off – and began to chat with one of Aly's classmates' mother.

It was the first time that Maura missed a swimming competition and even if the detective had tried to comfort her wife, she had to recognize that it was just not the same without the blonde around. Since their daughter had made it in the school swim club, coming to cheer the teenager up had become a part of their routine and today, Maura – who was still in Hawaii – was cruelly missing.

They had never been able to say if it was thanks to the baby swim club or not but since a very young age Aly had showed interest in the sport. At first, she would ask to go to the pool every weekend and little by little, it had become obvious that she wanted to be part of a team. As much as Jane was deeply lamenting her lack of interest in softball, she was nonetheless proud of her daughter's abilities and did not miss an occasion to brag about Aly's victories.

The swimmers entered the room under the cheer of the crowd until they positioned themselves on the edge of the pool and a heavy silence wrapped up everyone. A swimming competition didn't last long. Somehow, Jane found it cruel; how a couple of seconds could make the difference, irremediably. But driven by a very competitive spirit – too strong to Maura's taste – Aly simply loved it.

An hour later, Jane said goodbye to a few parents who – over the years – had become good friends and smiled at a very angry Aly as the teenager approached.

"This day sucks."

Repressing the urge to make a face, the detective rolled her eyes – shook her head – and walked to the doors that led outside.

"You got the second spot. It's an excellent result in itself. You can't win every time, Aly."

The teenager shot a frosty look at Jane and snorted. She was a perfectionist – too hard with herself – and at times, it broke the brunette's heart to see how her daughter barely managed to enjoy her good achievements or the sentiment to have done something good.

"Maura congratulates you and... She even authorizes us to have a chocolate cake. Isn't it wonderfully creepy how – even from her island – she still tries to control what we eat?"

Pouting, Aly smiled and was about to add something when her eyes landed on something on the other side of the street. She froze – swallowed hard – then clenched her fists. Matthew was on the sidewalk casually talking to a girl but even if it looked rather innocent, Jane knew better when it came to Aly's reactions.

"Okay... Double chocolate portion."

Thankfully enough and even if they were in the middle of a case, Jane had taken her day off. It had been a long while since she had spent time with her daughter and seeing how anger was melting into utter sadness and pain on the teenager's features, they might take advantage of the afternoon to have a proper talk about a couple of things.

She had always hated so-called dramatic romances – even if she herself attracted them a bit too easily in her time – and had been so glad to be done with it as soon as she had settled down with Maura but it was without counting on the side-effects of parenting. Yet for Aly, she could have abdicated and spent the rest of her life dealing with it if she had been sure that it would make her daughter happy.

"I'm not hungry."

Jane scoffed and grabbed her daughter by the shoulders as they left behind the swimming-pool center. It was a cold day of February – gray and dark – she was missing her wife and Aly was sad. Chocolate seemed to be the only option left considering the teenager wasn't allowed to drink.

"That I can't believe. You're the product of two food freaks. I've been dedicating my entire life to junk food and coffee while Maura... Jeez, you know how we have to hide these girl scout cookies when she isn't fine. Now let's go stuff ourselves while I'll ramble like a grandma about guys."


	16. A Matter Of Clothes

_**Six years old**_

Index fingers on her lips to hide a dubious pout, Maura stared at her daughter for long seconds before daring a look up at Jane who was standing rather matter-of-factly by the little girl. It wasn't Aly's first try to choose all by herself the clothes she would wear for the day but one more time, the result wasn't very successful. With all the care in the world, the medical examiner knelt down and pushed back her daughter's hair behind her ear; caressed her cheek gently.

"I definitely notice improvement in the coordination of the colors but honey, you can't spend the day in your pajamas... Even if they are your favorite. It's Jane's birthday and as you know, the family's coming for lunch. Thus, you have to pick up something more conventional. Do you understand?"

It was her own fault, Maura knew it. Her wife had insisted on postponing their daughter's new attempt towards autonomy but the honey blonde had assumed that the importance of a family gathering was – on the contrary – a good occasion to work on it.

A pair of unconvinced green eyes landed on Jane and studied her own attire. If she had made an effort and wasn't wearing a BPD shirt with a pair of worn-out jeans, the brunette was still far from Maura's standards.

"Why should I wear a dress if Mom J doesn't wear one?"

Maura made a face. Such comment would only push Jane to adopt her "I told you so" expression and it would take her hours – if not just days – to get over the obvious failure of her insisting on letting their daughter choose her clothes.

"Because as I said, it's her birthday. So she's free to do what she wants, today. But one can be elegant without necessarily wearing a dress. Look at her, she isn't in her pajamas either."

The little girl nodded and – slightly defeated – turned around to go back upstairs and change. They still had a few hours left before everyone to show up. Casting a glance at the kitchen counter where she had put potatoes and tomatoes to prepare the meal, Maura crossed her arms then shook her head.

"I'm sorry. You were right, Jane. Perhaps it wasn't the best day to let her have complete freedom over her clothing choice."

If it hadn't been for her mother – and Maura's mother – the brunette wouldn't have minded much if Aly had spent the day in her pajamas. It was a rainy Sunday and they would probably not go out of the day. But she still had to recognize that oddly enough – if she didn't care about her own attire – the situation was completely different when it came to her daughter. She always paid attention to Aly's clothes and made sure – every single time – that the little girl looked presentable enough. Such characteristic had surprised Maura at first but now that the years had passed by, the honey blonde took it more like some sort of blessing than anything else in the end.

Wrapping her wife's waist from behind, Jane planted a soft kiss on the scientist's cheek and rested her chin on her shoulder.

"At least this time she didn't insist on wearing her multicolored rain boots inside."

…

Suitcase in hand – and in full talk with Jane – Maura entered the house only to stop in her tracks as she came to face an ecstatic Aly standing next to an all-smile Lucy.

The teenager opened her arms, struck the pose.

"Turn around..."

Aly did before coming to an halt again in front of her mothers. Her eyes were sparkling with delight – her cheeks pink – while a nuance of happiness seemed to have embraced her features with delicacy.

"You're stunning, honey. This dress suits you better than it does on me...I missed you."

The honey blonde had to say that she was glad to be back home to a joyful teenager, especially after all the things Jane had told her during their Skype sessions. Hugging her daughter tight, Maura closed her eyes then planted a soft kiss on Aly's cheek; yet careful to not mess the makeup she had applied.

"You two grew up way too fast. You could almost go for a fake ID, now."

The mock of shock that spread on Maura's face – following Jane's comment – quickly melted in a smile and laughing lightly, the medical examiner shook her head at her partner then focused back on the two teenagers standing in front of her. The brunette was right, though. They looked like young women.

"Okay, we have to go. Matthew's waiting for us and there's no way we arrive there late. I have left the address on the fridge as well as the phone numbers if you need to reach me. I'll be back tomorrow... In the afternoon, probably. Have fun but don't be too wild, you aren't that young anymore...!"

Aly winked – grabbed her friend by the hand – and headed towards the door only to be stopped by Jane who shook her head in great confusion.

"Wild?"

The teenager giggled, shrugged before casting a glance at her mothers.

"Mom has been out of town for a month. You really think I don't know what you're going to do?"

If Jane froze under the remark, Maura approached her and passed her arms around her waist in a rather possessive motion. A mischievous smile slid on her lips as she rose an eyebrow suggestively and cast an amused glance at the teens.

"Oh you have no idea how I'm looking forward to you two leaving so I can undress right here in the middle of the living-room and do wild things for the rest of the night, Aly."

The young girl lifted her hand to stop the honey blonde – asking implicitly for no further details – and passed the door in a burst of laughter.

"She is in an excellent mood."

As Maura went to lock the door, Jane turned around – headed to the kitchen – and grabbed a bottle of wine to open it. She might have been turning her back at her wife, her lips still curled up in a smile of victory. She shrugged; began to pour the drink in two glasses.

"Aly saw Matthew talk to a girl in the street. Of course, she got jealous; because she is an Isles for a reason. Then she became mad; because she is a Rizzoli for a reason. But I managed to take her away and after a little talk, she agreed on making things clear with him. It turns out they're back togeth-..."

Drinks in hand, the detective froze as she turned around and looked at Maura. The honey blonde was standing there in her underwear; dancing suggestively on her feet. Her smile vanished in a pout as she approached her partner on her tiptoes. Her fingers went straight to Jane's pants to unbutton them. She shrugged.

"You know I can't lie."

She nonetheless accepted the glass that the brunette was holding and took a sip of it before discarding it by the sink. Within a second, her lips were already devouring her wife's neck while she pulled down the detective's pants.

"The door is locked... Your mother isn't here... Aly has just left... And I haven't got to touch you for a month... Give up any kind of other plans if you had some for the night."

With authority Maura grabbed the brunette's own glass to put it down near hers and took advantage of the moment to take her partner's shirt off. Her hands caressed Jane's sides before going up slowly in an echo of her leg she slowly shifted between her wife's to caress her suggestively.

"Are you going to stay still and speechless for the rest of evening? I have known you more active and talkative!"

Jane's hoarse voice resounded loud in the room as a giggle escaped from her lips and she captured Maura's in a deep kiss.


	17. The Change Will Come From Aly

_**Three years old**_

Jane's hand came to rest on hers, its warmth passing underneath her skin in a comforting motion and all of a sudden she stopped playing with the line of her shirt. A nervous smile appeared on her lips, yet not really balancing the terrifying what ifs of a potential failure that kept on twirling around in her head. It might have been a mere formality for the brunette, it was a whole different story for herself.

What could she say? She had never been good at dealing with human relationships.

"It's a pleasure to finally meet the two of you. Lucy has been talking about Aly for a long time already."

The little girl's mother was nice – friendly enough – yet in spite of it, Maura was paralyzed by the fear to appear as a freak and ruin her own daughter's chance to have a healthy friendship. Casting a glance at the large living-room, her attention stopped on a few paintings discarded on the floor. The lines and technique reminded her of Rothko.

"Are these yours?"

The question took Jane aback. She hadn't expected Maura to actually start a conversation all by herself considering her level of nervousness to the prospect of meeting their daughter's friend's mother. Carrie nodded and pushed back a strand of hair behind her ear as a bright smile lit up her features.

"It was hard to paint when Lucy was home but now that she goes to school, I'm finally able to focus a bit more on the canvas again. My first exhibition should be held in December. I would gladly see you there. You both work at the BPD, right?"

Subconsciously enough, Maura relaxed on her seat and rested a hand on her partner's knee. Surprising gesture for the scientist who rarely gave into public display of affection in front of strangers. The cherry tea slid along her throat with delicacy and as she locked her eyes into the artist's, the honey blonde had to recognize that perhaps meeting Lucy's mother wasn't such a terrible idea.

"We do, indeed. I am a homicide detective and Maura is the chief medical examiner of Massachusetts."

An unreadable expression spread on Carrie's face. Most of the times when they introduced themselves, both women faced either incredulity or embarrassment. These weren't random jobs. People always had a hard time dealing with the idea.

"It must be tough, I... I admire you."

Maura opened her mouth to reply but restrained herself at the last-minute. As soon as Lucy's mother had invited them over – which was fair enough considering the little girls seemed to get along rather well – the scientist had been afraid to ruin everything with her typical yet singular comments. Apart from their colleagues, they didn't have friends. A few acquaintances here and there but nobody ever invited them to dinner or on a weekend.

Their symbiotic relation – added to the peculiarity of their respective jobs – had made them rather exclusive. Perhaps the change would come from Aly.

…

_**Now**_

Her eyes finally abandoned the contemplation of the wall in front of her to perform a complete scan of the bedroom and - making a face - Maura finally let go of the words that had been burning her lips for long minutes already.

"This is awkward, Jane."

A sigh of relief welcomed her confession. She rolled on her side immediately to face her wife, passed a leg between the brunette's to look for some more heat.

"Do you think they are... You know..."

The cabin was silent to the point one could hear the wind blow hard outside, making the wood crack in singular noises. Jane shrugged at the scientist's question and looked with sorry eyes towards the door.

"Would you really do it if your parents were in the room next door? Besides... You know... I hope she would actually tell us if she were going to... Do it."

When Aly had asked if Matthew could come to the mountains for a weekend with them, something had started weighing on them. An odd sentiment of irreversibility and time running against them. It would have happened at some point but just like the dark omen nobody wants to actually see, they had hoped and asked in silence for an adjournment. In vain. And after meeting Matthew's parents, the four adults had agreed on the perspective of such getaway.

The day had gone smoothly – between a ski session and a chatty lunch at Aly's favorite restaurant in the resort – but as everyone had retreated to bed for the night, something else had settled in.

"I don't know. The occasion never presented itself or at least not before... Well, you are actually the first person I took at my parents' place and we were already married so I'm afraid I can't really tell, Jane."

Maura's confession surprised the brunette. Passing an arm around the scientist's waist – sinking further under the blanket – a frown deepened the detective's features. Obviously, she didn't understand.

"How come you've never brought anyone home? Even I did. Not that often but still..."

Squinting her eyes to an invisible point, the honey blonde shrugged and began to play with her wife's tank top absentmindedly.

"I went from boarding school to college to my own place. My parents taught me to be independent from a very young age and in case you haven't noticed, the Isles aren't much into family gatherings."

Fair enough.

At times, Jane tended to forget that Maura hadn't gone through the same kind of scheme as her. She didn't know what it was to have two brothers or a mother constantly on her back; a father who spent his Sundays watching football on television and only moving from the couch on lunchtime. She didn't come from a middle-class family, hadn't been raised in America.

"Do you think we are too permissive with Aly? My parents were strict – a lot more than we are – yet I caused a lot more troubles than our daughter has ever done so far."

The comment elicited a soft, peaceful smile on Maura's lips. She had thought about it – a long time ago – and pondered the question for days. But after a work of comparisons and readings, she had come to a single one conclusion.

"I don't think we are. We have settled boundaries, Aly isn't allowed to do everything. But it is our duty as well to not pretend to not see a few things or wait for them to happen and deal with them afterward. We are here to accompany her throughout her life, and prepare her to face it properly. Maybe they are just sleeping soundly and if not, well... At least the conditions aren't too bad. I guess...?"

Gently, Jane caressed the scientist's cheek with the back of her hand then leaned over for a kiss. A soft one, light and warm. For some reason, she began to think about all the things that had happened to her for the past twenty years or so; since the moment she had met Maura at The One Division Cafe to this precise time when they were both lying in bed in each other's arms. It was probably not how she had pictured her life as a child but for nothing in the world would she ever come backwards.

"That being said, it is still awfully awkward."

Maura's comment made her laugh. Frankly and loud. The night would be long and for the first time, she wouldn't mind much seeing the Boston skyline as they would come back home on the very next day. Even the mere crime scene sounded more appealing than the brain torture she was suffering from right now.

"Anyway, they've been doing sport all day long. They have to be too exhausted right now."


	18. Of Being A Good Mother

_**Sixteen months old**_

"Everything is fine, Maura. We are about to do some painting activity then I think I will take her to the park and..."

Jane swallowed hard as she turned around – a latent panic spreading over her – while her voice simply disappeared in an inaudible mumble. On the other end of the line, the scientist called her name, rather surprised by the sudden silence. _Alright, count until three and breathe. _

"You know what, Maur'? I will call you back later. Aly is really eager to start painting and I don't want her to throw a tantrum because I'm talking to you over the phone. Have a nice day at work."

Without waiting for a reply, Jane put an end to the call and rushed to the toddler as a mock of sheer and frank panic embraced her features. Somehow, her daughter had managed to open the small paint bucket and had plunged her hands in it before leaving her hand prints all over the couch.

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no! What have you done, Aly? Oh my god, you had enough time to do that on the wall too? This ain't a Prehistory workshop. You're supposed to use these sheets of paper, not... Jeez, you really want Maura to kill me, don't you?"

Rather joyfully – and obviously not disturbed the slightest bit by Jane's panicked eyes – the little girl grabbed the coffee table to stand up then planted her hand right on the detective's chest; leaving a red print of her tiny fingers on the gray fabric. Jane pouted and let defeat invade her as she sat down Indian style on the floor before shaking her head to nobody but herself.

"Why do you always have to do this kind of things with me? You don't like me much, do you? This is not nice. Not nice at all..."

She had taken a day off in the perspective of spending it with her daughter. For once, she had planned many activities for the two of them – making Maura proud to see her involved so much in the project – but within a second, everything had got ruined and she couldn't blame Aly. It was her fault. She hadn't made sure that the toddler wouldn't touch anything. She hadn't been careful enough.

Without any warning, a lump began to ache in her throat as her vision became blurry and big – burning – tears rolled up on her cheeks. She wasn't good at it and her daughter could sense it. It never occurred when Aly was with Maura. The honey blonde knew how to handle children, it was instinctive. She did not have this herself.

"Hug!"

All of a sudden – lost among her sobs and the reevaluation of her life – Jane felt tiny arms wrap her up. With the back of her hand, she swept away a couple of tears and looked down at Aly. The toddler had abandoned her singular painting activities to come and hug the detective. With awkwardness, she kept on patting the brunette's back with her small hands while rubbing her head against Jane's chest as if to soothe the cries.

Jane took her in her arms – planted a kiss on top of her head – then held her tight; the scent of the girl's shampoo going to her head comfortingly, reassuringly.

"I love you, Aly."

…

_**Now**_

Her eyes met the teenager's and she swallowed hard, bit the inside of her mouth to restrain the tears of disappointment that had been floated there – on the edge of her lips – since the moment Aly had come back home in the first hours of the morning. She could deal with the anger she felt, it wasn't a problem in itself. But the ache that pressed her heart – brought by an immense disappointment – was too hard to handle properly and one more time, she ended up staring down at her hands as the silence of the house sent an icy chill down her spine.

"Are you ever going to say some-..."

Her gaze snapped back up as her daughter started talking but Jane turned out to be faster. Sharply, her hoarse – low – voice made her jump.

"Shut up."

The comment – brutal enough – took Aly aback and for the first time since they had sat at the kitchen counter, the teenager seemed to fully embrace the seriousness of the situation; of what she had done.

A bit late, though.

If they hadn't heard a loud bang in the middle of the night – waking them up suddenly – perhaps they would have never got to know. Life would have gone on and they wouldn't be there right now. Facing each other with awkwardness; wrapped in incomprehension and pain. Maura moved nervously on her seat at the thought.

What if it had already happened? What if it wasn't the first time? What if other situations had occurred – like this one – and they had missed it all?

"Vodka? Tequila? Rum? Whiskey? Unless it was a mix, a bit of everything. Did you enjoy it? Did you enjoy the numbed sensations that it brought to your body? And the blackouts that followed? I am sure you had some seeing how intoxicated you were. How is your head, today? And your stomach? Did it give you a sentiment of invincibility and – oh wait – of this coolness that actually made you bump in the fucking wall as you came back home at three in the morning?"

Anger was now shaking Maura's body. Barely registering the swearing word she had used, the blonde finally locked her eyes with her daughter's and remained still; impassible. She wasn't expecting any answer, didn't want to get one at all.

"Is this what a sweet sixteen is about, these days? Sorry, we're a bit out of the loop so enlighten us. Is it all about getting drunk – maybe between two lines of coke – and after banging a guy or two?"

The harshness of Jane's comment made Aly look down, blush. Without saying a word, the teenager bit her lower lip and shook her head. Perhaps they were doing it wrong – were too brutal – but they had no idea how to react, even less what to say.

"Am I going to get grounded?"

Maura scoffed, rolled her eyes. Then pushed by a strong feeling she couldn't deny, she went to pick up a medical file and chose a picture. She let it slide on the counter; torn between the desire to make Aly realize a couple of things and the wrongness of her gesture.

"Look at him. I said: look. At. Him."

She had picked the most acceptable photograph; once the autopsy had been made and the body had been cleaned. Somehow, the young boy looked like he was sleeping.

"He was thirteen years old. He died last Tuesday as a seventeen-year-old girl – intoxicated – hit him with her car. His family had to come to the morgue to identify him. His parents... And all you think about is whether you're going to be grounded? Don't you realize it goes beyond that?"

The phone rang in the background but nobody moved. They let the repetitive sound disappear after a while, echoing in the silence of the house. Jane sighed – loudly – and frowned. As they had retrieved their daughter to her bedroom and put her to sleep, she hadn't been able to close her eyes. The bitter – strong – taste of failure weighed too much on her shoulders. She felt guilty, just like Maura. Wasn't it their fault – somehow, as parents – if such situation happened? They hadn't been able to prevent it from occurring. Something hadn't worked out at some point and there they were, now.

Swallowing hard and restraining tears of utter disappointment, Jane looked at her daughter; waited for the teenager to lock her eyes with hers.

"You keep on telling us that you aren't a little girl anymore and you ask us to treat you as an adult. We try to. I swear we do our best to go in this direction but... How do you want us to trust you when your behavior doesn't allow us to?"


	19. Parenting Isn't Easy

_**Twenty-eight months old**_

"Good morning..."

She loved Maura's voice in the morning – an octave lower, still lost somewhere in her dreams – her hair a bit tousled.

As the honey blonde settled in her back and passed her arms around her waist to rest there with her chin on her shoulder, Jane smiled. Peacefully. Her eyes still fixed on the mountains outside.

"A million dollar for your thoughts."

The scientist's remark made her laugh. Somehow intimidated, Jane curled her foot against the carpeted floor, bit her lower lip. Her hands slid on her lover's arms. Gently, slowly.

"That's a high price you're ready to pay."

Maura's moan echoed against her skin as her lips planted soft kisses in the crook of the brunette's neck. They had all the time in the world, today. And nobody to interrupt them. The blonde moved her head – rested it on Jane's back – then closed her eyes.

"I'd give anything for you."

At times, the detective wished she could say things as freely as her wife did. The words seemed to slide so easily on Maura's lips; so naturally. It cost her a lot to do the same. She regretted it. An eagle flew a few feet away from the balcony before disappearing again in the mist of the morning, somewhere near the dark shadows of the mountains. She loved coming here. It was peaceful, and relaxing.

"Do you think we are good parents?"

Maura's hands had slid underneath her shirt and stopped there – on her hips, brushing her underwear – as her question hit the air. Her voice had betrayed the doubts that kept on haunting her, shaking against the harshness of the idea that stood behind it. She felt the medical examiner get tensed in her back.

"Are you asking because we have left on a weekend without Aly? If so then I guess it is just fine. There is nothing wrong about leaving for a couple of days without your child. It is even probably a very good thing to do for a couple and let's face it, the well-being of parents can't but have a good repercussion on a child."

It went beyond that. If she had had to be honest, Jane always had the feeling to do it wrong; to be way too clumsy. Especially compared to others.

Nobody had really forgotten the way Aly had ruined the couch with her experimental painting nor the day she had grabbed one of Maura's dresses in the closet before ripping it off into pieces. Every time, Jane had been responsible for it. Not that her wife had got mad, on the contrary.

She had always welcome the news with an amused smile and a shrug of the shoulders as if to sweep away the so-called importance of such things.

"But what if we're doing it wrong? What if nobody warns us and it's like a countdown until the day it hits us back and makes us pay for our bad choices? There's not really a guide to follow, to make sure that it's how we should be doing."

Sensing the distress in Jane's voice, Maura pressed her wife's hips asking her implicitly to turn around. The brunette did, locked her eyes with the scientist's. The honey blonde looked relaxed, confident.

"You have an excellent instinct. Trust it."

…

_**Now**_

Her smile froze – behind her mug of tea – as she saw Aly head towards the main door. Not thinking it twice and barely paying attention to the fact that she wasn't alone, Maura called her daughter out loud.

"Where are you going to?"

Her voice had resounded sharp – cold – and made every head snap around as the light conversations subdued. The teenager looked annoyed and slightly ashamed but before the audience sat at the table, she preferred to keep a low profile.

"To Lucy's. She has to lend me a book for the science class. She forgot it at home yesterday and thus couldn't give it to me by then."

Maura nodded evasively as her eyes focused on an invisible point somewhere on her left. She took a deep breath in an attempt to control her voice and make it sound softer but it didn't work out much.

"I expect you to be back here in twenty minutes sharp."

Aly left without protesting but as she closed the door behind her, an embarrassing silence spread over the house; over the guests. Maura didn't use to be cold towards anyone, even less with her daughter. It was surprising to say the least. Sat on the other end of the table, Angela frowned and shook her head.

"What's happening, here? We've known more joyful Sunday lunches."

The scientist's guilty eyes landed on Jane's and in a gesture of support, she pressed her hand tight. They hadn't talked to anyone about Aly's last sweet sixteen. Not yet. The occasion hadn't really showed up and truth to be told, they still had a hard time facing it themselves. Something had got broken, between the three of them.

"Our daughter's Rizzoli side is finally showing, ma'."

Knowing better, Tommy groaned yet surprised that his niece might have caused troubles, he leaned over the table and rose an eyebrow. Maura replied before he even had a chance to ask.

"She got drunk at a party. So she's not only grounded for three weeks but has to go once a week to one of the Boston rehab centers for teenagers so she can see what alcohol and drugs can do to kids. She volunteers, there. For the rest of the year."

They had thought about it over and over, how grounding their daughter didn't bring much of a lesson in the end. Of course, teenagers didn't like not being allowed to attend parties and go out with their friends but they had wanted something more; something that Aly would keep in mind for the rest of her life.

Jane had come up with the idea as she had passed by a center on a morning. Maura had liked it – a lot – and the day after Aly was starting her volunteering work.

"Ain't a bad thing to do. Maybe we should have sent you to the mechanics when you stole your father's car, Janie."

Utterly surprised – yet amused – Maura opened wide eyes and stared at her wife in disbelief. This was something the brunette had never told her, obviously. Growing uncomfortable, Jane moved on her seat and rolled her eyes.

"I didn't steal it. I borrowed it. Three times. Without asking nor having a driver's license. And if I hadn't got a flat tire in the middle of nowhere, nobody would have ever known about it... Oh don't look at me like that, Maur'. We weren't as perfect as you were as a kid!"

The medical examiner blushed and looked down at her lap. If she had been a quiet child, she still had got grounded a couple of times; for minor reasons, though. Nothing to do with alcohol and such. She sighed.

"That's why it's been a bit tensed at home, lately. Aly's grades aren't as good as they used to either, as a matter of fact. I guess we all got shaken up a bit by the whole thing; Aly included."

As she saw the latent distress on Jane's features, Maura bent over and planted a reassuring kiss on her partner's cheek. They had known better days. Everything was going fine then all of a sudden they had had to face that and the light atmosphere of the last few weeks had flown away, exploding in a million pieces.

"Don't be worried, girls. It's only a matter of time. You'll overcome it, she'll overcome it. Aly is a nice girl, she hasn't been into troubles until now. Teens... They all have to try stupid things at some point... Don't feel bad. You're doing the right thing with her. Just like you with TJ, Tommy and Lydia. Same for you and the twins, Frankie. My grandchildren are great kids because they have good parents. You're just realizing it ain't easy."

Angela was right. Maura nodded quietly. Innocently enough, she had always assumed that it couldn't be very complicated. Way to believe in misconceptions, obviously.


	20. Bacteries, Soup And Confessions

_**Six years old**_

Maura's fingers slid on the little girl's forehead before her lips to embrace the skin in a soft, maternal kiss. She caressed Aly's cheek, smiled at her reassuringly.

"You don't have temperature anymore, honey. You see. These antibiotics are here for something."

Yet the honey blonde couldn't stop thinking that her daughter looked pale, and tired. She would need a full week to recover properly. A light sound caught her attention. Maura looked up. Jane was standing on the door frame of the bedroom. Hands in her back – dancing on her feet – the detective didn't seem too sure of anything. It was the first time Aly had really got sick and for some reason, it had shaken up Jane a bit more than expected.

Without saying a word, Maura invited her wife to come in and settle on the other side of the bed in a reminiscence of the collective cuddle they used to share when Aly was still a baby. Jane did, stretching her arm awkwardly above her daughter's head until she touched the blonde's shoulder.

"How are you doing, June Bug?"

The little girl shrugged and held tighter against her chest the tortoise cuddly toy that accompanied her everywhere since her birth. Something hurt in Jane's heart; the ache spreading in silence until the grip on her throat got her vision blurry and she had to swallow back her tears.

She hated seeing Aly like that. Weak, almost livid. And knowing she couldn't do much to relieve her daughter made her mad. Due to her medical background, Maura dealt better with it and she had taken care of the little girl all week long when Jane had remained a step behind; uncomfortable.

"Tell me the story."

As Aly's voice hit the air, both women looked up. Their gazes met as a veil of timidity spread over their features, making them blush slightly. The story. Their daughter hadn't asked it for a very long while. In a fluid movement, Maura settled a bit further against the pillows then cleared her voice. She passed her arm around the little girl's stomach and only stopped once her fingers made contact with Jane's.

"It was a busy day at the office. In the morning, our coffee maker had got broken so I went to the cafe to grab something but I was in a hurry because I still had many things to do at work. When I arrived, the place was crowded and I had to wait in line. Except I didn't have much time... Then all of a sudden, I heard a loud voice; a hoarse one. It came from a woman who was complaining at the counter because she didn't have money on her..."

They had never pretended. At a very young age, Aly had asked them about the way they had met. If at this stage of the little girl's life, they consciously didn't mention a few things – starting with the night the double six had rolled out on Jane's coffee table and changed everything – the rest was true and their words were sincere. Honest.

And every time they did, something began to sparkle in Aly's eyes; making her look happy. And serene.

...

_**Now**_

"Thank you."

Huddling further under the blanket, Jane accepted the soup that Aly tended her and let the steam warm up her cold face.

She closed her eyes for a few seconds but whined as soon as her daughter turned around to leave again. Pouting, the brunette tended her arms towards the teenager and shook her head; blew kisses in the air.

"Mommy's sick. Give a hug to mommy."

Aly laughed at the exaggerated gesture but didn't comply. Instead, the young girl crossed her arms on her chest before shaking her head at Jane. If she had willingly prepared some chicken soup, there was still a limit when it came to nursing the detective.

"Oh come on, Aly! Even if I licked your face – which I'm not planning to do – you wouldn't get sick. You heard Maura. It isn't a virus so you'll do just fine. Come here. Sit next to me for a talk. I'm bored. Entertain me."

The teenager seemed to ponder the idea but finally abdicated and settled on the couch by Jane's feet. It was raining hard outside and she didn't feel like going to the movies or anything. A month had passed by since the unfortunate alcohol incident and – little by little – things were going back to normal.

"How's your shoulder doing? You're as stubborn as me but please, don't rush back into competitions. Make sure it heals properly first, okay?"

Aly nodded and rubbed the bone she had injured a week earlier. Somehow, she took her incapacity to compete as a new punishment. She missed swimming.

"And how's volunteering going?"

Sighing loudly, the teenager rolled her eyes at the question and turned her face to stare at the kitchen. Jane bit her lower lip. Perhaps she shouldn't have asked. They hadn't stopped talking about it, lately. She was only rubbing it over and over. Something began to boil in her lower stomach.

"Well, I'm sorry but I can't pretend nothing happened. You know it. It was very stupid from you and... Damn, you have no idea how you disappointed us. It's... Anyway. So, is it interesting? What does Matthew think about it?"

By grounding Aly, they had also stopped seeing the boy around in the house.

Somehow Jane had to admit that she missed him. Since their weekend spent in the mountains, she had grown closer to him and she couldn't now but recognize that he was nice; sweet enough.

"I don't want to talk about him."

Taken aback by the snappy comment, Jane leaned up on her elbow and frowned; worried.

Had something happened again and the teenager hadn't told her? For a few seconds, the detective didn't move – didn't say a word – and as she finally opened her mouth to reply, she preferred to let it go. She knew better than to force Aly in such a talk if she didn't feel like to confess anything for the moment.

"And... How about Lucy? Is she seeing someone? Now I think about it, I've never heard you mention any boyfriend. I doubt her mother doesn't want her to date anyone. Carrie's a cool mum."

Jane took a sip of her soup, the liquid sliding on her throat and warming up her body. She sighed at the feeling and held the bowl tightly. Aly had a strong temper but Jane had to admit her daughter had always been very attentive and caring. Yet as the teenager burst out laughing, the detective rose a dubious eyebrow and cast a perplexed glance at her.

Aly looked amused. Biting her lower lip, she shook her head at her mother and made a face.

"Small wonder why it took you so long to end up with mom, your gaydar is completely off. Lucy's into girls. Not boys. Although she's never dated anybody yet. There are only two girls at school dating each other so far. It looks tough to find someone. Why do you think she always thought you two were an awesome couple? I'm sorry to burst your bubble but it wasn't on a parenting level..."

The first thing that came to Jane's mind turned out to be the urge to go and call Maura. That was major information she couldn't but share – and maybe gossip about if she had to be honest – with her wife. A few seconds passed by and her thoughts focused on Carrie. How come she had never alluded to it? The woman was a close acquaintance, even a friend when Jane thought about it. And considering she and Maura were married, perhaps Lucy's mother could have found answers to her probable questions.

"Does her mother know?"

The question seemed to surprise Aly who – lifting up Jane's feet – sat Indian style on the couch before putting back her mother's legs on her lap. She shrugged, focused on the fireplace in front of her.

"Of course, she does. Carrie is an artist. She is open minded and all. The crowd she hangs out with... It's not like you're the only same-sex couple she knows. It's all fine. Really!"


	21. Between The Three Of Us

_**Ten years old**_

"Come on, strike the pose!"

Maura bent over the armchair – rested her forearms on her daughter's shoulders – and smiled at Jane as the brunette settled the cam to take a picture. After weeks of debate and a religious search work to find the perfect place, both women had finally booked an appointment for Aly to get her ears pierced.

If they hadn't thought about it themselves in the first place and their daughter had had to ask, they had agreed immediately. After all, it was something rather classic and at ten years old, Aly was old enough to take care of the earrings.

_The place has to comply with strict hygienic rules, though._

Jane had nodded at Maura's statement yet hoping that her wife would manage to overcome the idea she would never find a place as neat as a hospital in spite of everything and there they were, now; in one of the last spots that had opened downtown.

If the detective had to be honest, it looked more like a hype lounge than a place where people came to get their ears pierced, from the uncluttered style to the underground music being played. But if Maura had assumed it was the safest spot in Boston for it then Jane didn't have much to say. Considering how her partner was a bacteria freak, she couldn't but trust her on it.

"Okay, now pull your hair up. I want to see your ears."

Aly was ecstatic and – bursting out laughing – she did as asked so Jane could take a picture of her ears before they got pierced. They were in a light mood. Maura was beaming while her wife's smile echoed their daughter's and the excitement of the three of them was visible enough. The act in itself wasn't any big deal but somehow, they felt like celebrating it.

"By the way, I have booked a table at _Grotto _so I hope that you are both hungry."

Aly's jaw dropped. For a few seconds, she remained still; slightly looking at Maura in disbelief. It was her favorite Italian restaurant on Beacon Hill but they only went there on special occasions. As a tiny shriek escaped from her throat, she grabbed the honey blonde by the neck and hugged her tight.

"Oh my god, I love you!"

Something warmed up in Maura's heart, an odd sensation that had appeared at her daughter's birth and she had a hard time to describe properly. At times, she thought about the conversations she had shared with her own mother during Jane's pregnancy when dealing with her sterility had been tough, harsh. It was more evident, now. And Constance was right: Aly had fixed her, somehow.

A man in his thirties approached and – all smile – put new latex gloves on. Discreetly, Maura reached Jane and grabbed her forearm before murmuring in her ear.

"He is kind of cute, isn't he?"

The question elicited a smirk on the brunette's lips. Making a face, she turned around and stared at her wife in fake disbelief.

"Why, if you want me to leave you with him, you just have to ask, Maur'!"

The medical examiner laughed quietly and planted a delicate kiss on Jane's cheek who – in all honesty – had to recognize that her partner was right. The employee was quite good-looking.

"Hey, Aly. How are you doing? My name is James and I will be the one to pierce your ears. You're not scared, are you? It doesn't hurt, just a little pinch."

As James turned around to grab his material, Aly did as well – looked at her mothers – and let the words slide in silence on her lips.

"He is cute!"

The exclamation only managed to make Jane moan and repressing the urge to roll her eyes, she simply bent over to diss at Maura.

"Way to choose the right place, really."

...

_**Now**_

As Jane's lips left her neck to trace a path of kisses down her chest, Maura closed her eyes and took a deep breath; abandoning herself to the sensation her wife's flesh on hers brought to her body. Out of an old automatism, her fingers slid in the brunette's hair to push her closer. She would never grow tired of it. The way Jane's hands roamed over her skin, the way her lips captured every single inch of her body. She wished it never stopped and for the rest of her life, she would remain on the edge of this powerful feeling she lost control to little by little.

Jane reached her lower stomach and in anticipation, Maura spread her legs; her thigh caressing rather suggestively her wife's sides. As the detective darted her tongue on her pelvis, the blonde arched her back and sighed loudly only to realize what her partner was actually doing. Slightly breathless – her hair a mess and her cheeks pink – the medical examiner leaned up on her elbows to look down at Jane.

"You are obsessed with it, aren't you?"

Jane's laugh echoed on Maura's flesh and sent a shiver down her spine, making her swallow hard. Her dark eyes snapped back up and never breaking eye-contact with her wife, she let her tongue follow the figure she knew by heart. Maura bit her lower lip but a moan nonetheless escaped her lips.

An hour later, both women headed down to the kitchen only to be welcomed by the smell of pancakes and bacon. Aly placed two plates on the counter, poured fresh orange juice in glasses.

"Good morning, you two."

If there was one thing that the teenager had inherited from Maura, it was her incapacity to pretend and lie. Almost stopping halfway as she sat down on the stool, Jane cast a brief glance at her wife and took a deep breath. It was too early to face whatever plan Aly had in head.

"What do you want?"

For a few seconds Aly pretended to look vaguely surprised but knowing better, she abdicated and rolled her eyes while placing pancakes in her mothers' respective plates.

"As you both know, Lucy's sweet sixteen is coming soon and her mother has agreed on her getting... A tattoo. May I have one too?"

At the mention of their daughter's best friend's name, Maura cast a brief glance at Jane. Of course, the detective had told her about Lucy's sexual orientation and even if surprised at first, the honey blonde had to recognize that she found it rather amusing; although most of all sweet that the teenager didn't seem to have any issue to deal with it openly. Jane snorted at Aly's question and taking a mouthful of pancake, she rose a dubious eyebrow.

"And I want one million dollar. The answer is no. Next question, Al'."

Hope melted into incomprehension on the young girl's face. She pouted, crossed her arms on her chest as she adopted her best offended expression.

"Oh come on, why? At least I did ask you before and didn't do it in your back. You should be pleased with that."

Jane nodded yet hoping in silence that their daughter didn't really consider the second option she had mentioned.

"As much as I do appreciate you to talk to us about it before, you know what I think about tattoos. I'm sorry but it's a no-go."

Aly was about to add something when Maura's voice resounded low as if the medical examiner were lost in her daydreams.

"You seem to appreciate mine, though."

The comment got welcomed by a heavy silence. Shocked – surprised – the teenager looked at Maura in disbelief while Jane landed reproachful eyes on her partner. All of a sudden, the honey blonde blushed and stared down at her plate. The comment had slipped through her lips.

"You have a tattoo, mom? Where? I've seen you in a bikini and I nev-... Wait, never mind. I prefer not to know. But does that mean you're okay with me getting one?"

Maura shrugged matter-of-factly. She took a sip of her orange juice and focused on her daughter. There was no way she could look at Jane for the moment. Her little mishap would owe her long hours of cold and dark gazes.

"I am, indeed. Although not before you turn eighteen. You are way too young for a tattoo, Aly. It is the kind of decision you can hardly come back on once it is done. Besides, I don't see why we should agree on such a point right now. I mean, what have you done lately to deserve it? You got drunk – I know you learned your lesson but still – and your grades are still barely average when you used to be an excellent student which by the way reminds me that from now on I will check your homework every day. So no, for the moment you won't get anything close to a tattoo. Deal with it."

If Jane had also told her about Matthew being apparently out of the picture, Maura hadn't mentioned it yet to their daughter. After all, Aly didn't have to confess everything. As long as she knew she could do so when she felt like to then – and in spite of everything – the medical examiner had to accept the idea. Although if it explained the grades and the situation didn't improve, Jane and her would have to change and force a conversation one way or another.

Aly sighed yet nodded and sat at the counter to eat her own pancakes.

"Okay that's a deal but in the meantime, I'd like to know why and how you ended up with a tattoo. And what is it? A name? A symbol?"

Jane giggled, almost choking on her bacon and eggs.

"Your mother is a wild smartass, Aly. Maur' is the only person on Earth who goes all rock'n roll for a tattoo while in London yet to get inked a quote in ancient Greek."

Abandoning her fork and knife in her plate, Jane turned around – caressed Maura's hair tenderly – then planted a soft kiss on her temple.

"And that's why I love you, babe. Never change. Please."


	22. Of Moon Jellies And Seizing The Day

_**Five years old**_

Maura knelt down – passed an arm around her daughter's waist to catch her attention – then focused on the aquatic ballet in front of her.

"These are _Aurelia aurita_, also known as moon jellies. They are boneless, heartless and brainless; mostly made of water. The adults live up to three or six months but polyps can survive many years. They can be found in harbors and bays but as a matter of fact, they have the capacity to live in many habitats and are considered as survivors because a lot of them thrive in dirty, polluted and oxygen-poor water. Their main predators are sea turtles, some fishes and other types of jellies. There are more than 2,000 types of sea jellies in the world. They are also related to anemones and coral."

Standing behind the honey blonde and Aly, Jane listened to her wife in silence; a smile on her lips. She wasn't sure that Aly understood every single point of Maura's explanation – after all, their daughter was only five years old – but the little girl looked captivated.

Unlike other children running around noisily, Aly kept on staring at the moon jellies coming and going; her tiny hands pressed against the glass while her green eyes went up and down constantly.

They had been to the zoo more times than the brunette could remember. To the Science Museum easily a dozen of times. But The New England Aquarium was a premiere and before their daughter's reaction, Jane had to admit that Maura had been right to wait for Aly to be old enough for it.

The little girl was fascinated by every single section, asked questions and frowned – concentrated – as the scientist gave her data. A nod and she finally moved on to the next scenery only to repeat the same scheme.

Three hours later, the visit came to an end. Aly was too young to go on a cruise and see the whales yet but as they stopped by the gift shop, she went straight towards the books. For once, she didn't pay attention to the toys. With care, she opened a large encyclopedia and looked at the images quietly.

"Would you like a plush sea lion, June Bug?"

The little girl shook her head at Jane's question and – not breaking eye-contact with the book – she put a tiny index finger on it.

"I want this. I want the book with all the species."

Surprised, Maura cast a glance at her partner and shrugged. Perhaps Aly had just found herself a brand new passion.

Jane squatted down by her daughter and looked at the page the little girl had stopped on. The article was about moon jellies – extremely detailed – not really adapted for children of her age.

"This is a book for adults. Will you take great care of it?"

Aly nodded and held her promise. As they went for lunch to The Harbor View Café and sat by the large floor-to-ceiling windows, the little girl barely cast a glance at the spectacular view of the city skyline or Boston Harbor. Instead, she asked for the book and went sagely through it until her dish arrived.

...

_**Now**_

Playing with her double chocolate cookie, Maura sighed and locked her eyes with her daughter's. The words kept on dancing in her head but without colliding a single time to make a proper sentence. She bit her lower lip.

"It goes beyond disappointment, Aly. I am actually worried. Jane is going to be mad but you know how she is. We don't understand, honey. What is it that your grades keep on going down like that? I mean..."

Truth to be told, the teenager herself looked sorry. For once, her air of defiance had been put aside and she barely dared to look at her mother. Thankfully, the report card had been sent on Maura's day off. If Jane had found about it first, there wouldn't have been any conversation right now. Only a sharp remark and a cold treatment for the next few weeks.

"Is it... Is it because of Matthew? You never told us what happened. Does it have to do with it?"

The young girl scoffed – rolled her eyes – and shook her head while chewing on her lower lip. She took a sip of her hot chocolate, focused on the passers-by on the other side of the large window.

"I don't want to talk about him."

Insidiously, the remark set off an alarm in Maura's head; spreading a latent panic to the rest of her body. What if something bad had happened between the two teenagers and – ashamed or feeling guilty – Aly didn't dare to confess the slightest thing? In a quest for more privacy, the scientist bent over the table.

"Did he force you to... Do something?"

This time, her question frankly offended the teenager who – in a mock of horror – shook her head then stared at the honey blonde as if she had lost her mind. If Aly hadn't officially said that she had broken up with Matthew, she had let Maura and Jane understand by bringing up a new name. Casually enough. They didn't know much about Alex apart from the fact he was also a volunteer at the rehab center but – in all honesty – after the fiasco with Matthew, they weren't in a hurry to meet anyone at all.

"Fine. And somehow, it is relieving to know that he didn't harm you one way or another. But it doesn't change the fact that your grades are bad. Do what you want with what I am going to tell you, Al'. Take it as an ultimatum or whatever, I don't mind... You have three months left before the end of the school year. If you don't find back the level you are supposed to have, then I am afraid we will have to cut on extracurricular activities... Like swimming."

The teenager turned livid. Maura knew and weighed the importance of her statement but she felt like she had no other choice. They were trapped in a dead-end path and without drastic measures, nothing would ever come back to normal. Aly was too stubborn for that.

"Listen... I just lost focus, mom. I guess it's just that. Nothing to do with Matthew or anyone. It's just... It's just me. And perhaps all these sweet sixteens too. It takes a lot of time to organize. Look at Lucy's. Two weeks left and so many things are left to do."

Maura took a sip of her tea and moaned. She cast a furtive glance by the window only to see Jane walk opposite the street.

"Since when are you an event planner, Aly? You know, I don't want you to be a good student for us but for you. You are a bright person, with dreams. Don't you want to be a marine biologist anymore? It isn't an easy career you are choosing. You need to excel at school to make sure to graduate and enroll in an excellent college. Think about that, okay? A sweet sixteen is just a birthday party. It won't have weight on your life unlike your studies."

Resigned, the teenager nodded quietly and shook Maura's hand to seal the deal just as Jane passed the doors of the café. Bags in hand – all smile – the detective planted a kiss on her daughter's cheek before capturing her wife's in a tender one.

"_Core de vie _and _French Dressing_?"

Maura smirked as she cast an amused glance at the bags before rising a mischievous eyebrow at Jane in an attempt to highlight her question. If she didn't mind much about the first store that sold sportswear – and comfy clothes – her curiosity was surely piqued by the second one specialized in lingerie. She let her fingers run on the bag but the brunette snapped back her hand; thanking the waitress as she brought her coffee in the process.

The gesture made Aly laugh and readjusting her glasses on her nose, she cast a mischievous glance at the honey blonde.

"What do you want... Mom J is simply putting in practice what your tattoo says. She is seizing the day."

Jane choked on her drink at the remark and burst out laughing while Maura – red like a lobster – mumbled an inaudible reply before looking down at her tea; slightly embarrassed.


	23. Aly's Friends

_**Ten years old**_

"You should go, Rizzoli. It's almost 4pm..."

Reluctantly, Jane looked up from her computer screen and made a face at her colleague.

All day long she had dreaded the moment when she had no choice but to leave the relative quietness of the BPD for her house on Beacon Hill. For once, she wasn't eager to go back home. Maura worked late and she would be alone to deal with a dozen of ten-year-old hysterical girls whom Aly had invited for a slumber party. It would be stressful, and noisy. Nothing close to the plans she used to have for her Friday evenings.

"Honestly, Frost... I don't think I should leave now. I mean, we haven't got the lab results yet and that wouldn't be very professional from my..."

The buzzing of her cell phone interrupted her abruptly.

_You'd better be on your way home_

_Maura_

A moan escaped from her clenched teeth before she buried her face in her hands and abdicated. Loudly, the brunette stood up and turned off her computer before grabbing her jacket. New buzzing from her cell phone.

She rolled her eyes.

_I'm on my way upstairs. If you're still there, you can say goodbye to sex for a whole week._

_Maura_

If the text message made her smile more than it got her worried, the sound of the doors of the elevator opening and stilettos resounding on the floor set off a frank panic. Maura wasn't joking. A quick wave at Frost and Jane ran in the opposite direction – towards a secondary exit – to make sure that her wife wouldn't cross her on her way to the open space.

Only once in her car did Jane allow herself to breathe again. If there wasn't too much traffic, she should make it on time if only to prepare the first Sundays and whatever her daughter's friends would feel like eating. Then – bowl in hands – the girls would rush upstairs to Aly's bedroom while she would wait for the first drama to happen.

She wasn't exaggerating. From experience, she knew that it always turned out that way at some point. What was it that girls simply couldn't spend more than two hours without ending up arguing? At least, it was easier with boys. Tommy had never had this kind of problem with TJ. Boys were plain and took things as they came when girls felt the urge to analyze the mere thing.

Her the first.

_On my way, stuck in traffic. Hopefully they won't have hit the bar by the time I pass the door._

_Jane_

One. Two. Three. As expected, her cell phone began to ring and – a sarcastic smile playing on her lips – Jane took the call while stopping at a red light. On the other end of the line, she could hear noises in the background; a metallic tilting.

"This isn't funny, Jane. We have thirteen girls under our responsibility for the next eighteen hours – our daughter included – so you'd better make sure while I'm at work that everything goes fine."

Repressing a laugh, the detective nodded as if Maura were sitting next to her in the car and took on her left as the light turned green. Somehow, she couldn't wait for Aly to be older and deal on her own with her friends. It would be a lot less stressing.

...

_**Now**_

Medical bag in hand, Maura rushed into the local restaurant – spotted Lucy – and went to hug her tight. She was running late and hated it. As her daughter's friend offered her to sit down, the honey blonde accepted immediately and discarded her bag on a side of the table.

"I am on call and my car won't start so I had to grab a taxi. I hope you haven't been waiting for me for too long."

The teenager smiled and swept Maura's apologies with a gesture of the hand as a waitress handed them the menu. The woman was in her late twenties and wore an impressive lowcut that didn't leave much room to the imagination.

"Hello, girls. My name's Jenna. I hope your date will go just fine. If you need something, feel free to ask."

As the waitress' words hit her mind, Maura swallowed hard. For some reason, she hadn't paid attention to the fact Lucy had suggested her an address in the South End nor that the restaurant hung on its walls rainbow flags. All of a sudden, the medical examiner panicked. She definitely had been surprised when her daughter's friend had called her for a talk and suggested to do so over a lunch but at no moment had she assumed that it could go that way either. The waitress' assumptions made her blush. How could one think that she would dare to plan anything with a minor?

"So... How are you, Lucy? I heard that your sweet sixteen was a success."

The teenager adjusted her glasses – put her menu down – and locked her dark eyes with Maura's. Lucy had always owned a singular self-confidence that often took the blonde aback. Today was not different.

"It went fine. But you must wonder why I asked you to come here so I won't make you wait. I need you to tell me everything about the lesbian life; from how to find a girl to... I don't know, all the basics. It's not like you're the only gay adult in my surrounding but unlike Jane you've dated other girls before and I've known you since forever. You're like the aunt I don't have. I really need your help. I know Aly told you that I was gay."

The medical examiner swallowed hard, repressed a nervous laugh. At least Lucy didn't have have a crush on her. Yet she hadn't expected that either. Playing with her napkin, she passed a hand on her nape and frowned.

"I really appreciate your trust, Lucy. Although I'm not sure to be the best person to talk to you about this. I have been married for over fifteen years and if I hadn't gone to boarding school, I don't know how I would have got closer to any girl for that matter. I... Err... I don't know. Perhaps you should volunteer at a LGBT center or something. You could meet nice people, there. Although it's not what I'd call a good reason either to give up on your current friends, of course. Friendship has little to do with one's sexual orientation."

The teenager nodded. Against Maura's expectations, she looked rather convinced by her statements. It wasn't that the honey blonde minded much about such a conversation but she wasn't prepared at all for it either.

"I'm not in a hurry or anything but you know, I'm sixteen and I guess it'd be fair enough if I had the chance to meet someone. Aly and I kissed a few times but it was just for fun. Nothing like the real deal."

In an effort that cost her a lot, Maura kept her smile up and counted until five as she tried to process the news. Her daughter had kissed a girl, her best friend to be more precised. While she had always showed interest in guys only. Subconsciously, the scientist shook her head; frowned.

"You kissed? Are you... Do you... Aly... I thought she was... She was not..."

Unable to finish the slightest sentence, Maura drowned her surprise behind a glass of water. Thankfully enough, Lucy seemed at ease. Shrugging, the teenager thanked the waitress as she brought their plates.

"As far as I know, Aly's straight although look at Jane. If you ask me, I guess nobody can ever be sure about that because it's all about meeting one person, the right one. And I'm not in love with her if it's what you're wondering. Al' is my best friend. I love her and I would do anything for her. But we're not anything else."

For long seconds, Maura looked down at her salad; a peaceful smile on her lips. The teenager's words couldn't but remind her of Jane, of herself. For years they had said the exact same thing. Not that it did mean that Aly and Lucy would end up together but still, the comparison could hardly be missed.

"Speaking of Aly, what is going on with her? What happened with Matthew? Has she... Has she slept with him? She doesn't tell us anything and as much as we respect that, we're worried because we know something's wrong. She's not fine... What... What is it?"

Fork in the air, Lucy opened her mouth but didn't say a word for a while. The teenager looked torn as she finally spoke.

"I can't do that to her, Maura. It would be like betraying her. You can't ask me that. It'd be like putting me in a delicate situation. In all honesty, I'd prefer us to stick to what brought me here in the first place. I... I need answers, I really do. As for Aly, you know how she is. The day she feels like talking then she will."

Maura sighed loudly and - resigned - nodded as she looked at her daughter's friend. Lucy had changed. There was not much left of the little girl with straight dark hair and slanting eyes. In front of her, Maura had a young woman who wore makeup and was desperately asking for answers to fair wonders.

"Fine. So let's see what I can tell you about girls, now."


	24. Here For Each Other

_**Eleven years old**_

Jane opened her mouth but paused – remembering Maura's words – and tried to find the most accurate way to give her sentiments to her daughter without offending her either. It was a complicated exercise for the detective whose impulsiveness didn't match the attitude such context required but if there was one person on Earth for whom she could make an effort, it had to be Aly.

"It's a beautiful bra you've chosen, really. But I think you're a bit too young for lace. This is something Maura could wear, or me. Let's stick to something a bit more basic for you, okay?"

Trying to repress the urge to criticize whoever had dared to create sexy lingerie for preteens, Jane took the piece of underwear from her daughter's hands – put it back on its hanging rail – and went through the different collections with attention. When she thought about it, the brunette couldn't remember the first time she had bought a bra. It had had to happen with her mother, obviously. And if it was quite an important moment in a teenager's life, her own experience had slipped out of her mind completely.

"But I don't want a little girl one. The girls at school don't wear bras with puppies or clouds on it. They have real ones. I don't want them to laugh at me..."

Before their daughter's changes, Maura had suggested that – perhaps – it was time for them to invest in a couple of bras for Aly. The young girl had welcomed the idea with excitement.

"I get that, don't be worried. How about plain black or... Purple? They have like a zillion colors. Don't tell me your classmates wear lacy ones...?"

Against all expectations, Jane had volunteered for an afternoon of shopping with her daughter. For once the detective didn't mind going from one store to another – for lingerie, besides – Maura hadn't insisted and let her go.

If she had had to be honest, it wasn't much the activity in itself that the brunette was looking for but the fact that she was doing it for Aly. Most of the times, it was Maura who was in charge of personal things especially girlie ones. But Jane wanted to change that, and make an effort. After all, she was a woman – just like her wife – and could definitely share the task.

"Do you have any idea about your size? Perhaps we should ask."

Genuinely enough, Jane looked around and was about to call for a salesperson when Aly's hand on her forearm stopped her. The teenager crossed her arms on her chest and shook her head vehemently.

"Gosh you want me to die of shame? Don't ask anyone! Let's just... I don't know. Let's just take two of the smallest sizes. Anyway, I'll probably never need anything big if I've inherited it from you."

Aly grabbed a few bras and headed towards the fitting room, leaving a speechless – slightly offended – Jane behind. Had her daughter just been sarcastic or plainly literal in her remark? After years of sharing Maura's life, it was hard to make the distinction. At times.

…

_**Now**_

Maura cast a last glance at the autopsy room. Her instruments were ready – sagely put down in their tray – the x rays had been taken and the corpse had been prepared by her assistant. She nodded to nobody in particular but herself and smiled. Yes, everything was perfect.

If it weren't for her colleagues from Philadelphia who were still missing when they had come to Boston on purpose.

As she was craning her neck in an attempt to see them somewhere in the corridor, her cell phone rang in her back. She turned around – looked at the ID – and took the call. Quite relaxed, she crossed her free arm against her chest and leaned against the metallic table; turning her back at the doors.

"I don't have the lab results yet, Jane. Susie will bring them upstairs. I have another autopsy waiting for me so I won't be available for the next hour or so."

The honey blonde frowned as she noticed the brouhaha on the other end of the line. Wasn't the brunette supposed to be upstairs, at her desk? If Maura herself hadn't been called on a crime scene then Jane had to be at the BPD as well.

"I'm not calling for that, Maur'. Aly just stopped by The One Division Café and asked me 20 bucks for a new bra. She told me you had planned on giving her the money but somehow you forgot. Is that right? "

The medical examiner looked up at the x-ray viewer and snapped her head; made a face. Biting her lip, she nodded as if Jane could see her right now. It wasn't that they didn't trust their daughter about money but lately the teen had been harder to handle. In spite of the ultimatum sent. And a bit lost, Jane and Maura had got stricter with her on every single point.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I was supposed to give her the money this morning but I must have forgotten. Although she will probably need more than just one new bra. Since she's on the pill, her breasts got fuller."

Jane sighed and rolled her eyes. She hadn't asked for an anatomy class either about her daughter's body changes.

"How come? I never put on weight when I was on the pill."

The honey blonde turned the back of her hand towards her and focused on her nails. She should book a manicure appointment, one of these days. It had been a while since the last one.

"Hormones. It's perfectly normal to put on weight a little although it doesn't happen to every single girl around. You've just been lucky. You know, the birth control pill isn't a mere contraceptive... It comes in handy when your period is heavy and painful. It also helps regulate your cycle and surely keeps acne to a minimum. That's why many physicians prescribe it to young girls. I should have said that to Lucy."

The brunette snorted. Once Maura had come back home from her lunch with their daughter's friend, she had rushed to Jane to sum up the last two hours and a half she had spent in the South End talking about women while eating a salad named after one of Sappho's poems. Surprised yet rather amused, Jane had listened with curiosity and – obviously – had still not forgotten about it.

"I can't believe that of all people, Lucy went to ask you advices about human relationships. With people who aren't dead yet."

Falsely offended, Maura gasped and bit her lower lip before pouting to the wall in front of her.

"I certainly have more lesbian experience than you do, Jane Clementine Rizzoli-Isles! I do admit that I lost myself a bit in the biography of Sappho but I'm sure that thanks to my advices Lucy will find a nice girlfriend soon. Unless it turns out to be Aly. Let's not forget they have actually kissed. Several times... Anyway, it was a nice talk about sincerity – dance moves – and tenderness. Am I such a bad partner?"

A "ding" resounded in the background and the scientist assumed that Jane had finally left the cafe to go back upstairs to her office. The brunette giggled shyly, eliciting butterflies in Maura's stomach.

"You know I couldn't hope for someone better, Maur'. But let's face it, you aren't that good at handling human relationships. Even if you're quite a seductress."

The medical examiner straightened up and looked down at her black scrubs. She had been the one who had offered to play the dice game in the first place. Where would they be right now if they hadn't tried and lost themselves into it that night? There would be no Aly, no Jane by her side.

"It doesn't change the fact that – perhaps – I should have told Lucy that she still could be on the pill if she wanted more... Comfort. After all, we've been respectively on the pill almost until we both hit menopause and it wasn't in a contraceptive goal. Sex between two women eliminates any risk of a pregnancy in case you had forgotten about it."

Jane mumbled a vague affirmative reply before clearing her voice and taking a sip of her coffee.

"Alright, alright. Listen, I have to go now. I'll see you later, okay?"

Maura nodded – whispered a few words more – and put an end to the call. As the time appeared on her cell phone screen, she rolled her eyes. Where had the Philadelphia medical examiners gone, exactly? A bit annoyed, she turned on her heels and froze.

A dozen people in scrubs were standing there, a couple of feet away from her. And by the embarrassed look on their face, she knew that they had overheard from her phone conversation more than just the end.


	25. Author's note:

Hello everybody. I'm sorry for the lack of updates but I had to get an emergency operation to reattach my retina on Tuesday morning. I will try to be back in a week or so. When I have recovered enough to stay in front of a screen. Thank you for the private messages too.


	26. I Am Your Mother

_**Author's note: thank you everyone for the kind messages, I really appreciate them. Here's a new chapter, I think I'll update the story three times a week or so to go little by little although my recovery is going fine. It is just that I still see things a bit blurry so it's not easy.**_

_**...**_

_**Four years old**_

Even with her eyes closed, Maura could feel the sun pierce through the windows; caressing her skin of a warm embrace as the regularity of her breath kept on rocking her to sleep. She felt fine, light enough. The kind of day she wouldn't mind spending in bed cuddled against Jane and Alessandra.

A stifled sound made her smile. It had come from the door; a mix of whispers – excitement – and little tiptoes walking on the hardwood floor. Slowly, she opened her eyes then sat up in bed to welcome her visitors. Jane was holding a breakfast tray while their daughter was proudly carrying a few presents in her arms. In a theatrical gesture, the little girl settled on a side of the bed near the honey blonde before clearing her voice and taking a deep breath.

"Mom and Me.

Best friends forever mom and me

Picking flowers and climbing trees

A shoulder to cry on and secrets to share

Warm hearts and hands that really care"

Satisfied, Aly handled the biggest present to Maura and – dancing on her feet – she bit her lower lip as a bright smile lit up her features.

"Happy birthday, mommy. I love you."

Something warmed up in the medical examiner's heart. A sensation that after spreading all over began to melt into the most pleasurable embrace as she took her daughter in her arms to hold her tight. In all honesty, Maura had never imagined the powerful feelings that parenthood could bring. Now she could easily say that she had underestimated them and that nothing in the world could equal what she felt.

Aly was her life and she owed her to Jane.

Feeling the tears brush her eyes, the honey blonde looked aside and swallowed hard. She owed many things – if not just everything – to her wife. Life might have been unexpected, it had still turned out to be extremely bright; a lot more than what she could have wished for.

"I love you too, sweetie."

She might have not carried Aly – she might have not been able to give birth to her – at that moment she knew that all of this didn't matter. The little girl was her daughter as much as she was Jane's. Since the very beginning, Maura had been there and all the doubts she had had once weren't anymore.

She was a mother. Just like any other woman.

…

_**Now**_

Paper brown bags in hands, Maura stepped into the kitchen – put the grocery on the counter – but as she turned towards her daughter, her smile froze. The smell had gone to her nose immediately but she hadn't registered it for long seconds. Probably for it not belonging to their daily scene.

"What are you hiding in your back?"

The honey blonde's voice resounded cold, sharp. Her question was purely rhetorical, though. Her eyes fixed on Aly's arms, Maura counted until five in her head before making a step closer to the teenager.

"It's none of your business."

Deep inside, Maura had felt the urge to convince herself that things had gone back to normal; that since their daughter was volunteering at the rehab center, the teenager had learned her lesson and grown up.

We all make mistakes. Nobody is perfect.

Except things weren't as good as the lies the scientist had told herself. Aly's grades were still quite low and her attitude left a lot to be desired. Often, too often.

"Carbon monoxide, arsenic, tar, ammonia, cyanide, acetone, butane, methropen, sulfuric acid. These are some of the components of cigarettes. Seriously... What on Earth are you trying to prove, Aly? I thought you were a lot smarter than that."

Before the teenager had a chance to reply, Jane stepped into the kitchen – dropped the grocery bags on the counter – and squinted her eyes at Maura and their daughter, sensing that something was wrong.

"What's happening?"

A dry laugh escaped from the medical examiner's lips. Once, she would have probably tried to reassure her wife and solve the problem alone with her daughter to avoid Jane being angry. But not this time. No, not anymore. She had reached her limits. They had reached their limits.

"Aly's smoking."

Within a second, Jane reached her daughter's hidden hands and grabbed a lighter as well as a pack of cigarettes.

"What the fuck?"

A storm of questions that remained unanswered was twirling in Maura's head, making her feel dizzy and hurt. In pain. When had it gone wrong? What had they missed for things to turn that way suddenly? She felt guilty, awfully responsible for all the things that were now happening.

It was her duty as a parent to prepare her daughter to all these things, to make her understand why they were bad and why it was better to stay away from them. Obviously, she had failed.

"It's just a cigarette, not crack! Why are you two always flipping out? You're freaking paranoid. It's no big deal."

Jane scoffed but restrained herself from replying as she felt her wife's hand on her forearm. Instead, she turned her head around and looked at Maura. Something took her aback in the blonde's gaze, something she had never seen before.

"How do you dare to say that? Have you lost any common sense? Smoking _is_ a big deal, even more at the age of fifteen. Who do you think you are? It's a time bomb and you know it. Why don't you just go and jump out of the window already? That'd go faster... Formaldehyde. Do you know what it is? It is a chemical product to preserve dead bodies that is also used to make cigarettes. That's what you've been putting in your body. It's..."

Aly sighed. For once, she didn't look intimidated but simply pissed off; a line forming on her forehead as if nobody would ever understand what she meant.

"Oh stop it already with your freaking dead! I'm not going to end up on your table for a cigarette. Why don't you just..."

But the teenager didn't have time to finish her sentence. Maura didn't let her do so. Instead, the honey blonde rose her voice – yet her tone lowering an octave – as she clenched her fists in anger.

"Don't tell me what I'm supposed to do or say! I'm your mother, for Christ's sake. You are the one who is supposed to listen to me and accept whatever decision I take concerning you. Deal with it!"

Aly scoffed – shook her head – and made a menacing step towards Maura. Perhaps they had waited for too long and things were now exploding strong, all these details they had hoped to leave them at some point as naturally as they had come. With a scaring calm voice, the teenager locked her eyes with Maura's and swallowed hard.

"No! You are _not_ my mother. You are _nothing_ to me."

Pointing at Jane who had remained quiet all along – completely taken aback by the scene – Aly kept her gaze fixed on the honey blonde in defiance.

"_She_ is my mother. Not you."

The slap resounded awfully loud in the room, taking everyone aback; starting with Jane who, shaking, looked down at her hand. She had never hit her daughter, not even as a child. Yet it had come up now, all by itself. Even before she had a chance to realize the slightest thing. Shocked, Aly brought a hand to her cheek – shook her head at the detective – and rushed out to her bedroom leaving both women alone in the kitchen.

The house was suddenly dead silent. Cold. And it took long seconds for Jane to finally react. Passing an arm around Maura's shoulder, she kept on staring in front of her where Aly had stood all along.

"She didn't mean it, Maur'."

The honey blonde's nod – too shy – passed almost unnoticed. Just as her voice as it slid harshly on her lips to brush the air in a painful whisper.

"I know."


	27. Opening Up

_**Author's note: thank you for the reviews, I was eager to finally write this scene that was somehow a turning point in the story so I'm glad you liked it in spite of its roughness.**_

_**...**_

_**Eleven years old**_

The air was chilly. Moving on her seat, Jane rubbed her hands before blowing on them to warm up a little. She cast a glance at Aly next to her and smiled timidly at her daughter. The stadium was crowded and noisy yet somehow – as soon as she locked her eyes with the teenager's – the brunette forgot all the rest, lost herself in a world of silence.

"I wish you had inherited something else from Maura than her incapacity to express herself when she isn't fine."

Perhaps she should have tried to bring up the subject with more subtlety – with delicacy- but as usual, the detective was better at throwing herself right into it. Head first. She would deal with the sequels to her impulsive temper later.

"I'm a big girl, now. I don't have to tell you everything."

Aly looked back at the stadium – the empty pitch – and smiled peacefully. Her reaction took Jane aback and let her wonder how one could remain such in control no mattered what. It wasn't that she didn't like it but somehow, it scared her slightly. Maura was alike. Always in control, at least in public.

"Except when you're in trouble. We're here for you, Al'. And we'll always be here. As much as I do find it funny you punched that girl in the face because she was getting on your nerves – and please don't say it to Maura – you know it's not the solution."

Aly rolled her eyes – crossed her arms against her chest – and nodded without adding anything. Maura had taken the phone call from her school quite bad. It was the first time the teenager went into a fight – just like that, without any warning – and this wasn't something that the honey blonde tolerated.

"Why don't you dare to go to us when you have a problem? We only get mad when you do it all behind our back. The rest is okay... Just talk to us as soon as you're not fine."

All of a sudden, a loud cheer rose from the stands as the players entered the stadium. The only two left sat on their seats, Jane locked her eyes with her daughter's and waited for a reaction that would let her make sure that Aly had got the message. The teenager bit her lower lip before a timid smile to spread on her lips.

"Okay. Now let's support our guys till the end of the season."

…

_**Now**_

"May I come in?"

Sneaking her head by the door, Maura's voice resounded low – almost shy – as she looked up at Aly sat on her bed. The teenager nodded, yet not moving an inch from her semi-fetal position. With uncertainty the medical examiner stepped into the room, cast a glance around. The place was neat, as usual. If their daughter wasn't easy to handle on a daily basis, she was at least a very tidy person.

Maura sat on the edge of bed – awkwardly enough – and hid her hands under her hips. She had insisted on going to talk to Aly in spite of the scene they had just lived. Except now, she felt a bit lost.

"I wish I had given birth to you. I wish I had felt you grow inside of me... I wish I had had the chance to build this bond that only links a mother to her child. I wish... Life is unfair, at times."

Aly sat up suddenly and let a heavy sigh pass her lips. Shaking her head, she rose her hand in the air as if to stop the honey blonde.

"I know and I'm sorry. I should have never said that. It's not true at all. You're my mom, no matters you didn't give birth to me. I honestly consider you... You're like Mom J, to me. You've always been. Sorry for being so awful with you. I didn't mean it."

Maura smiled yet something ached inside. As much as she accepted it now, her sterility was something she knew that she would have to bear for the rest of her life and it hurt all the time. In spite of all.

"What's wrong, Aly? Talk to me. I know you're not fine. It might sound ridiculous but I can't stand this; the way I know you're suffering while I can't help you because you won't let me to."

The teenager folded her legs under herself and looked down at her lap. Long seconds passed by before an almost imperceptible sob broke the heavy silence of the room. Immediately, Maura rushed to Aly's side and tended an uncertain hand toward her daughter's shoulder.

"Honey, what is it? Is it.. Does it have to do with Matthew? Is this why he's not around anymore? Did he do something bad to you?"

Deep inside, Maura dreaded it; just like Jane. They had never really dared to say it out loud – in the hope it would remain a mere, blank theory – but it nonetheless had kept on floating above their heads.

"Matthew has been perfect. It's not him, it's me. I... I'm not... I'm not the daughter you want me to be. I will never be able to reach your standards. I'm sorry."

Confused before Aly's confession, Maura shook her head then frowned. She didn't understand anything, from what their daughter thought she had done to the standards she was alluding to.

"What are you talking about?"

Aly snorted – shrugged – and stared out of the window; anything to avoid her mother's gaze.

"Look at you. You're the medical chief examiner of the State, it's one huge position. And Mom J is quite a respected homicide detective. I know about the expectations you have for me but I'm afraid there's no way I can fulfill them properly. I'm too stupid for that."

This time, Maura couldn't help a little laugh escape from her lips. Not to mock her daughter's insecurity but the misconceptions Aly was living on.

"I'm far from being the perfect person you describe; nor is Jane. We might have succeeded in our field, I can assure you that there are many things we completely failed at if only for a large part of our life... You kind of fixed them, though. You brightened it all. And the only expectation we have from you is the hope that you'll be happy; that you'll lead a joyful life. We don't want anything else for you, Aly."

The teenager twisted her hands then swept away a couple of tears. Taking a deep breath, she fixed the wall in front of her and squinted her eyes at it in defiance.

"I asked Matthew to leave me alone, I asked him to leave... Because I didn't want to get attached to him or else I'll suffer when I lost him. I... That's why I went out with Alex, to make him dislike me."

Maura bit her lower lip – nodded slowly – then rose a dubious eyebrow. She understood her daughter's process, as much as it was utterly wrong.

"Except it didn't work out and now you miss him. Because you can't force yourself to not get attached to anyone. One doesn't control their feelings... As much as – at times – it would turn out to be fantastic if we could."

Clearing her voice, the teenager shrugged and silently sat closer to the medical examiner. Yet unable to properly look at her mother in the eyes.

"Oh, it worked out. He's seeing someone else, now. I hurt him, as planned. But you're right on the rest, I miss him bad..."

This time around, Maura didn't hesitate and took her daughter in her arms – hugging her tight – to rub her back in comfort. Aly had been wrong – hadn't made the right choices – and felt their weight on her now. It broke the blonde's heart.

"You don't have to be afraid of love, honey. It's a beautiful thing to embrace..."

Not that she hadn't done the same at some point in her life as well, if Maura had to be honest. But her very own mistakes didn't count right now. For the moment, it was all about Aly and trying to make her feel better somehow.

"Alex is a nice guy too but I used him, nothing else. I... I slept with him to make sure Matthew would hate me. We had never... We hadn't done it... I didn't like it much, mom. I didn't like it at all. Alex didn't do anything wrong but... It shouldn't have been him."

Maura's hand slid on Aly's cheek before capturing her chin and forcing her to look up. The young girl did and finally locked her eyes with the scientist's.

"I screwed it all, mom. I'm not worth it."


	28. Some Time For You And I

_**Author's note: thank you again for the reviews!**_

_**...**_

_**Six years old**_

Apart from a couple of families scattered a bit further, the beach was desert; calm. The sound of the waves echoing the rhythm of the wind. Setting on her towel, Jane looked up at Maura a few feet away and smiled. The medical examiner was playing with Aly and Lucy, carrying water from the ocean into one of the plastic buckets they had bought at the harbor to pour the whole around a sand castle the girls had built and decorated with seashells. It was a lovely day off on Lovells Island, a couple of hours out of the city and its boiling life.

"That's one impressive fortified castle."

Maura smiled at her wife's remark as she came back to sit down by the brunette's side and rubbed her hands against her own towel to get rid of the sand that had covered her palms.

"The drawbridge is cruelly missing and the arrow slits are way too large but six-year-old girls seem to like it more that way around."

Jane brought the honey blonde's hand to her lips and planted a soft kiss on the scientist's fingers before playing with them absentmindedly. She knew such architectural details bothered Maura and that it did cost her a lot to pretend the opposite yet for Aly and her friend, she was ready to do it. Quietly.

"It's still a very nice one... And no boy around to destroy it as soon as you turn your back at it to pick up a few more seashells. Oh the joy of having brothers..."

Maura's laugh resounded loud. Rolling on her side, she leaned up on her elbow then locked her eyes with Jane's; caressed her cheek lovingly. The sun had warmed up the detective's skin and suddenly, the blonde felt like nothing but rushing into her partner's arms and stay there for the rest of the day.

"Nobody ever destroyed mine... As a matter of fact, it rarely happens on private beaches. And most of them on the French Riviera are made of shingles."

For a few seconds, Jane pouted – remained still – while staring at Maura in silence. Finally, a long sigh passed her lips and she shrugged.

"I could destroy yours if you built one, today."

Falsely offended, Maura gasped – put a hand in front of her mouth – and shook her head vehemently but soon enough a smile lit up her features. In a fluid gesture, the scientist sat up and smirked defiantly at her wife.

"Don't you even dare. But I bet you that my fortified castle would look way better than yours."

Immediately, Jane put her sunglasses on and sat up on her towel. She cast a glance at Aly and Lucy who were quietly playing with their fortress and bit her lower lip as she focused back on Maura.

"Doctor Isles, is that a challenge you're throwing at me?"

…

_**Now**_

As Maura stopped in front of the black door of the restaurant, she couldn't help staring from head to toe at Jane who was waiting for her there. The detective was wearing a red dress that molded her body in a very suggestive way while she had straightened her hair before locking it in a low bun.

"Maybe we should just skip dinner..."

The scientist's comment made the brunette burst out laughing. One could hardly say that over the years she had changed her outfit habits in spite of sharing Maura's closet but from time to time, she surprised her wife and wore a dress for an evening out.

"No way. Do you know how complicated it is to get a table at N°9 Park, these days?"

It had become their favorite restaurant when Aly wasn't around. The teenager had flown out of Boston to spend the summer in Europe with Maura's parents earlier in the afternoon and if both women would not take a couple of weeks off before August, finding themselves alone for a while was still relaxing. In particular after the last events that had shaken up their family.

The honey blonde opened the door of the Italian restaurant – let her wife step in – and followed her to their table.

"It is going to be calm for a while at home, isn't it?"

Her question elicited a pale smile on Jane's lips. Since the conversation Maura had had with Aly in her bedroom following her outburst, things had slowly come back to normal yet carried on by a precarious balance. The teenager would need time to get over everything even if her mothers had assured her that – by opening about it – she had already done the most complicated part in all of this.

"Jane?"

The white wine twisted in the glass – enveloping its transparent curves – as Maura turned it around. A look up at the detective and she found herself lost in these dark eyes she would never get tired of. Love was mysterious – hardly explainable – and desperately addicting. The passing of time had no reach on it.

"Do you think we are good parents? Do you think... It didn't turn out that well, lately. And I feel guilty, sorry for Aly."

the detective put down her own Chianti then cleared her voice, moved nervously on her seat. They had talked about it – over and over to the point it was getting obsessional – but the truth was that she shared Maura's doubts completely. They had failed at some point, somehow.

And it had made their daughter suffer unfairly.

"I can't say we haven't tried. I can't believe I'm going to say that but let's face it, we're doing our best. At times we make mistakes and that's how it works. No matters how I hate it."

Both of them had a hard time dealing with the taste of failure, in their professional life and probably even more in their personal one now that included a third party. Not caring much for once of the utter lack of privacy, Jane bent over the table and captured Maura's lips in a reassuring kiss. They would go through it together and everything would be okay. They had to believe it somehow.

"Since when are you wise?"

The detective smiled. She was anything but that. Not even years of experience had managed to teach her that. She was still the same stubborn, impulsive woman. And Maura knew it more than anyone.

"Are we in a teasing mode tonight, Doctor Isles? I thought we were supposed to talk and organize our summer vacations."

Maura rose her hands in a false defeat before nodding and taking out of her bag a file the size of a thesis.

"Italy or Switzerland? We have five days for ourselves before meeting back with my parents and Aly. You will find here the different activities and points of interest that both countries offer. I know that we have already been to both but there's always something new to discover. And since we will take more days off in December, we can hardly afford any other destination that wouldn't be in Europe."

Not making the slightest remark about Maura's scientific approach of their summer vacation, Jane took the file and leafed through it. She had to recognize it: at times, her wife's neat temper made things way easier.


	29. A French Education

_**Author's note: thank you for the reviews, the antibiotics get me tired so I still don't update every day and all. Sorry...!**_

_**7 years old**_

Jane focused on the workbook – bit her lower lip – and restrained a sigh before looking up at Aly in a mock that didn't leave much to the imagination. It had to happen at some point, she should have know it. Or better said, she had known it but had preferred to ignore the issue in itself and let it go. But now that she was facing the dreaded situation, she couldn't help feeling like a perfect idiot.

"Hey, June Bug... You know what? We're going to work on your math first, okay? I guess Maura will do just better with your French than I ever will."

When the scientist had suggested that their daughter could attend a French school, Jane had agreed right away. After all, Maura's parents lived in France and it would come in handy at some point. But perhaps the detective should have herself learned about it on time because now that Aly had homework to do in the language, she couldn't help her properly nor check the exercises the little girl had done.

Aly was about to reply when Maura entered the house, a few files in hand. Obviously the scientist had planned on working late at home that evening.

"Someone needs your help, Maur'..."

Immediately, the honey blonde discarded files and bags then rushed to the table. She sat down on one of the chairs and cast a glance at the exercise, addressing her daughter in French.

Jane felt left aside, vaguely stupid and most of all helpless. Without a word, she stood up and went to feed Bass, Jo Friday following her in her journey to the fridge. Something made her feel empty inside, a sort of melancholy that would spread its net over her insidiously.

Later that evening – while both women were reading in bed – the brunette turned to her wife and bit her lower lip as if suddenly timid.

"Teach me French."

Surprised by the unexpected request, the honey blonde closed her book and looked at Jane.

"Why now? You have always refused..."

The detective shrugged. Maura's question was fair enough, especially after all these years of turning down the offer in spite of their frequent stays in France. Jane started biting her nails. She was quite nervous.

"I couldn't help my own daughter to do her homework, today."

And she hated it. What kind of mother could she be if she wasn't able to help Aly? It was a failure or at least did she live it that way. She couldn't stand it.

With all the care in the world, Maura's fingers brushed Jane's cheek. Slowly, she bent over to capture her partner's lips in a kiss that said it all. No words were needed.

…

_**Now**_

The sky was gray – contrasting in a unique way with the stones of the house. A bit further ahead, Aly kept on playing with a large dog Constance had bought a few months before. The teenager looked a lot better than when she had left Boston; a peaceful smile lighting up her features.

"How did it go? She looks happy."

Hands in her back while walking through the park of the house, Constance smiled at Jane's question as her typical serene expression embraced her face.

"Fine. I have to say that being a grandparent is an advantage... Your grandchildren don't consider you the way they do with their very own parents. Her French is also perfect. She is a bright girl."

A wide smile appeared on Jane's lips as a sentiment of pride seemed to spread on her heart. The last months had been hard but all in all – and in spite of the doubts – she knew that Maura and her were raising their child correctly. Aly wasn't a bad person.

"_Elle a bénéficié du meilleur professeur dont on pouvait rêver."*_

Constance smiled – a soft laugh sliding on her lips – as she looked at Maura who had passed an arm around Jane's waist. Their vacations in Italy had gone smoothly even if five days weren't enough to their taste. Now back to France for a week, they would have less time for themselves but they didn't care. They wanted to spend these days with Aly; and Maura's parents. The countryside would be quite relaxing even if – at some point – it always drove Jane crazy. She was a city girl and would always be.

"_Elle l'a surtout appris à l'école. C'est ton français à toi dont je me suis chargée."_

Jane pouted then planted a chaste kiss on her wife's cheek. Over the years, she had learned to appreciate Maura's parents and if speaking French had been tough at the beginning, she spoke it fluently enough to go around and about every summer they spent there in the southwest of the country.

Constance's cell phone rang. The woman took the call, leaving both women alone wandering through the park of the property. It was an old farm that the scientist's parents had bought a few years ago and now restored, it was a lovely place to spend a few days.

"I didn't make any grammar mistake, right?"

Jane's question made Maura burst out laughing. For some reason, the detective was still nervous when dealing with her parents, especially when another language was involved. Coming closer to her wife, the medical examiner let her lips brush Jane's neck in a stolen kiss.

"It was perfect."

The dog barked. Both women looked up only to see Aly burst out laughing, a tennis ball in hand. They had been looking forward to such moment; serenity finally embracing back their family. For how long, though? Other tough moments were probably waiting for them on the road.

"I hope it will stay that way when we go back to Boston."

Something in her voice betrayed Maura and immediately, Jane grabbed her hand to hold it tight.

"Were going to do just fine, don't be worried."

The honey blonde smiled – took a deep breath – and nodded.

...

*"She got the chance to get the best teacher one could dream of."

*"She mostly learned it at school. It's your French I got to be in charge of."


End file.
